


Unmiss You

by WhimsicalPuffin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Fluff, Kid Fic, Minor Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalPuffin/pseuds/WhimsicalPuffin
Summary: Lena leaves National City after she forgives Kara and moves back to Metropolis, leaving everyone confused and hurt. When they run into each other for the first time in eight years, things are very different.Kara puts on a brave face, but she’s struggling with some recent events.Being around Kara again stirs up old feelings and memories that Lena has spent eight years trying to forget.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 235
Kudos: 1044





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I’ve been working on for the last couple of months and it’s also my first story so please be gentle! Oh, and the title is named after the song Unmiss You (Stripped) by Clara Mae. I just thought it was fitting.
> 
> Happy reading! :)

Lena woke up on Friday morning with a strange feeling. A nagging feeling, one that she couldn’t quite shake all morning, even through her mindless meetings and endless phone calls.

At the end of her work day, in lifted spirits due to some successful time spent alone in her personal lab, she decides to wrap it up and head over to her favorite market. The nagging feeling long forgotten. 

It’s an obscure little market that’s tucked away in a neat little corner of buildings. One she stumbled upon after moving back to Metropolis eight years ago and has since fallen in love with. She likes that she can slip in and out easily without being noticed. She loves that the owners, Mr. and Mrs. Goto, always welcome her with a kind smile and make sure they’re stocked up on the ingredients that she frequently purchases.

As soon as she walks in, the anxious feeling returns. It puts her on edge and she considers returning her basket and making a run for it.

She quickly scans the area, and once she’s ruled out any immediate danger, she ventures farther into the store, basket in hand. 

Lena hasn’t come across any other shoppers as she navigates her way through the familiar aisles and the feeling starts to fade away once more.  _ You’re just being paranoid, Lena,  _ she tells herself.  _ You need to get out more _ .

Lena pauses and looks down at her basket to double check she has everything when someone comes barreling around the same corner. She stumbles back by the sheer force of the very solid body and begins to lose her balance. She lets out an  _ oof  _ before she realizes she’s about to fall backwards.

As that final thought fleets through her mind she feels strong hands grab onto her upper arms stopping her mid fall.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I should have been paying more attention. Are you hurt?” Lena was so distracted by the annoyance of having been plowed down in a store that she hasn’t yet glanced up at the woman who ran into her.

And then that prickly feeling returns, but now it’s increased to full on distress. The hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and she can feel her heart beating wildly in her chest and her stomach twists painfully.

Because Lena would recognize that voice anywhere. It’s the same voice that’s been haunting her for the last eight years, one that she’s tried so hard to forget.

Lena knows by the silence that the other woman is experiencing a similar reaction, and Lena can feel her eyes boring into the top of her head as Lena bends down to pick up her spilled groceries.

The blonde woman stiffly bends down as well and begins to help Lena put her groceries back in the basket. Lena can still feel her eyes on her as she stubbornly avoids looking up.

Lena stands up quickly and finally looks at the woman. Her blonde hair is half up and falling in curls past her shoulders. She’s wearing a long sleeve blue button up shirt that is tucked into a pair of blue jeans.

She looks exactly the same. In fact, if Lena didn’t know any better, she’d think she was back in National City, eight years in the past.

Wanting to get out of the store as quickly as possible, Lena takes a deep breath and looks into the woman’s blue eyes. “Hello, Kara.”

Kara opens and closes her mouth a few times and Lena’s heart squeezes at the many memories she has of a flustered, stuttering Kara.

“Le—”

“Mama! I found you! Aunt Alex said I had to find you to ask about ice cream.” Lena watches as Kara turns around and smiles at the young girl and picks her up, bringing her to rest against her hip.

She can’t be more than four years old and she’s the spitting image of Kara. Lena’s stomach drops as she realizes that Kara is a mother. Her best friend,  _ former _ best friend, became a mother and she had no idea. Lena glances at Kara’s left hand and sure enough, sees a beautiful wedding band. She married and had a child and Lena wasn’t there to see any of it, and she tries to ignore the pain this thought brings. Isn’t this what she wanted when she left National City all those years ago?

Kara has seemingly forgotten that Lena is standing only a few feet in front of her as she gently chastises her daughter for running in the store and leaving her aunt’s side.

The little girl looks downtrodden as she looks down with a quivering lip. But then she looks up at Lena with the same crinkle that Lena has seen thousands of times. She leans over and whispers something into Kara’s ear. Except it’s not really a whisper because Lena hears every word.

Kara’s head snaps back to Lena and they just stare at each other for a moment. “This is Lena Lutho,” Kara says to the curious girl. Lena notices Kara pause as if she’s thinking, and she’s wearing the same crinkle that’s currently present on her daughter’s face. In another life Lena probably would have found this whole exchange absolutely adorable. “She is an old friend of mine from National City.”

The little girl nods and gives Lena a piercing stare. It’s unnerving and Lena isn’t sure what to do so she offers the curious little girl a small smile.

She seems to approve because the next thing she knows the little girl is outstretching her little hand toward Lena for a handshake. “Hello, Lena Luthor. I’m Alura Alexandra Danvers but everyone calls me Lu because Jeremiah couldn’t say my name when he was little and aunt Alex said it just stuck. If you lived in National City did you know my mommy?”

Lena, slightly confused, opens her mouth to respond when Kara answers for her.

“No baby, she didn’t know your mommy. I met mommy after Ms. Luthor left National City,” Kara says quickly, while looking at her daughter with so much love that it makes Lena’s stomach flutter, but there’s also a hint of sadness in Kara’s eyes.

“Oh, okay. I’m sorry, mama. Can we get ice cream?” The little girl transitions from one thing to another very quickly and Lena is finding her to be quite entertaining and downright adorable. Not only has her daughter inherited Kara’s signature crinkle, she’s also inherited her puppy pout and she gets the sense that she’s impossible to say no to, and it seems Kara is also an easy victim.

Kara lets out a shaky laugh and kisses Alura’s cheek. “Of course, sweetheart. After we’re done here we can go get ice cream.”

Kara puts Alura back on the ground and then shuffles her feet awkwardly. Lena is again struck with the thought that clearly nothing changes.

“She’s beautiful, Kara. Motherhood suits you.” Kara smiles at this and Lena knows she needs to keep the topics neutral to avoid bringing up the pain of their past.

“Thank you. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done.” Kara smiles fondly at her daughter who is currently spinning in circles in the middle of the aisle behind Lena. “How have you been, Lena? It’s been —”

“Eight years? Yes, it certainly has been a while. I’ve been doing well. Busy, of course. There’s no rest for the wicked,” Lena says sarcastically and immediately regrets it when Kara looks away quickly.

“I’ve kept up with all the latest L-Corp news. You’ve accomplished great things, Lena.” Kara is looking at her with that same fond look and Lena swallows. She doesn’t have the courage to tell Kara that she hasn’t followed any news regarding Supergirl or articles written by Kara Danvers. That whenever she sees her on the TV, she changes the channel.

It’s silent for a moment and Kara looks like she wants to say something but isn’t sure what, or maybe even how. Lena doesn’t think she can handle whatever it is. The painful memories of their past are still palpable between them.

Luckily, she doesn’t have to worry about that because no sooner does she open her mouth to tell Kara she needs to get going, Alex Danvers comes walking around the corner sporting her typical leather jacket look and a baby carrier.

Lena internally rolls her eyes at her luck. Of course this is happening right now. She takes a deep breath to prepare herself and waits for Alex to notice her.

“Kara, I’m so sorry but Clark just called and there’s an issue downtown. Can I take —” Alex looks up at that moment and her wide eyes hone in on Lena. “Lena.”

“Alex.” Lena nods and looks down at the baby in the carrier. The baby is awake and alert and Lena immediately recognizes the familiar features, the same features that belong to his mother and older sister. He gurgles happily and smiles at Lena. It tugs at Lena’s heart strings and she wills herself to look away.

Looking back up to the adults, Lena notices that Alex and Kara are whispering quietly to each other.

“...can’t he just come get you? What am I supposed to do with the kids?” Kara whispers angrily.

“No, he’s…tied up at the moment. He said Lois will come get you in a little bit. Just hang out here for a bit. There’s even a pizza place across the street.” Alex tries to laugh it off but deflates. “I’m sorry, okay? But it’s serious and he wouldn’t ask for my assistance unless he really needs it.”

Kara sighs and takes the baby carrier from Alex, who then quickly waves her goodbyes before taking off quickly.

“Where is aunt Alex going, mama?” Alura runs to her mother with a quivering lip and close to tears.

Kara picks her up with her available arm and holds her effortlessly. “She has to work, love. We’ll see her tonight. How does walking across the street and getting pizza sound?” Alura’s eyes light up at the sound of food and Lena chuckles.

“She inherited your appetite, huh? Has she bankrupted you yet?” Lena laughs and Kara even chuckles quietly.

Kara appears to be having another internal battle based on all of her familiar tells that Lena immediately recognizes. The way Kara is looking down and biting her lip. The way she sighs and squints before looking back up at Lena.

“Lena, would — would you like to come to dinner with us? It’s the little pizza place across the street. I was hoping we could catch up some more? I mean... I understand if you don’t want to of course. It’s just — it’s been so long and I would love to hear about your life.” Kara is practically breathless by the time she’s done talking and Lena hopes she can’t hear the way her heart is pounding in her chest.

Lena knows she should say no.

She looks at the grocery basket filled with the ingredients for her planned dinner.

She looks at the wedding band on Kara’s left hand.

She looks at her two children.

She looks up at the woman she fled from and completely ignored for the last eight years.

But Lena’s always been weak when it comes to Kara.

Looking up at Kara’s hopeful smile she smiles back at her. “Sure, I'd like that.”

They make it to the restaurant and are shown to a booth that’s secluded in a far corner of the restaurant.

Lena notices Alura standing behind her leg looking at Lena shyly. She tugs on her mother’s hand and Kara squats down so her daughter can whisper in her ear. When the little girl is done whispering, Kara pulls away and smiles at her. “Of course. Go ahead and ask.”

Lena is feeling oddly self-conscious as both of the Danvers’ look at her. “Would it be okay if I sat next to you?” And then Lena’s jaw drops because why would Kara’s daughter, literal sunshine, want to sit with her?

Lena looks at Kara who gives her an encouraging nod and smile. “Oh! Of course.” She pats the spot next to her and Alura climbs up on the booth. Kara then sits across from her daughter and sets the baby carrier across from Lena.

Not sure how to break the silence, Lena clears her throat and points toward the baby carrier. “And who might this be?”

Kara takes a peak at the now sleeping bundle and smiles. “This is Arlo. He just turned three months last week.” Lena’s heart twists at the sight of Kara smiling at her children and the way her eyes light up when she looks at them.

Halfway through the meal, Alura taps Lena on the arm. “Excuse me, but I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, okay. Um.” Lena looks up at Kara with wide eyes and Kara smirks at her.

“Come on, Lu. I’ll take you.” Kara holds her hand out for her daughter and then does a double take at Lena and points at the still sleeping baby. “Will you be okay with him? He should stay asleep.”

Lena looks down at the sleeping baby and back up at Kara. She must have a look of horror on her face because Kara laughs at her again. “I promise it’ll be quick but if you aren’t comfortable I can take him with us.”

“No, no. You go ahead. We’ll be fine.” Lena says it more to assure herself but Kara nods and turns back to her daughter to lead her to the restroom.

“Okay, little guy. It’s just me and you. Please stay asleep,” she says to Arlo and shakes her head at herself because she’s talking to a sleeping baby. Now that she’s alone, she peers closer to get a better look. Lena is in awe of how cute his little fingers are. He has a little hair at the top of his head that’ll probably end up being slightly darker than Kara’s.

It’s not that Lena is afraid of children. She loves kids and finds her favorite thing to do is visit the children’s hospital. It’s just these are Kara’s children. And Lena’s heart still leaps at the thought.

Somewhere across the room a plate is dropped and it startles Lena out of her thoughts. It apparently also startles someone else because when she looks back at Arlo, she notices his nose start to twitch. And then he moves his head from one side to another and his hands bunch up into tight, angry little fists.

It’s when his face starts to scrunch up in utter unhappiness that Lena starts to panic. Arlo lets out a small whimper and he opens his eyes. Lena looks back and forth between the bathroom doors and Arlo. His lip starts to quiver and his eyes fill with tears.

Unsure of what to do, Lena grabs the small elephant that’s on his lap and holds it up to him. “Here you go. It’s okay. Kara will be right back. Please don’t cry.” This only seems to alarm him even more and Lena curses herself. She tries rocking him slightly in his carrier and it seems to help slightly but she can tell he’s steadily working his way up to a full blown baby meltdown.

Just then he opens his mouth and starts crying loudly. “Oh no. Okay. I can do this,” Lena says with a sigh and looks back to the bathroom. Kara is nowhere in sight, so she takes a deep breath and turns toward the wailing baby. She removes the clips that are holding him in the carrier and gently removes him.

She cradles him gently in her arms and he immediately stops fussing. “You really didn’t have to make a big scene you know.” Lena smiles down at him as he takes a hold of her finger and she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. He’s gurgling happily as if nothing had even happened. 

She continues to gently rock him until she looks over and sees Alura running toward them. “Arlo! Arlo is awake!” She climbs into the booth and leans forward clumsily and kisses him on the forehead and he begins to squirm.

Lena props him up a little higher so that Alura can get a better look, while also making sure she doesn’t lose her balance and squish the baby as she sits half on Lena’s lap.

She smiles at both of them as they babble nonsense to each other. She glances up from the pair and her eyes immediately meet Kara’s. Lena isn’t able to read the expression on her face and she’s worried for a moment that maybe she overstepped. Maybe Kara doesn’t want Lena touching her children. Lena’s heart rate picks up and she swallows thickly. Of course Kara doesn’t want this, she can’t blame her.

Just as her thoughts become overwhelming, Kara gives her a blinding smile and continues walking to the table. “I’m sorry that took so long. This one,” Kara points to Alura, “decided to make a mess of the soap in the bathroom. I hope he wasn’t too much of a hassle.”

Lena shakes her head. “I hope it’s okay I took him out… he woke up and made a big fuss.” Lena answers timidly.

Kara sits down and shakes her head with a smile. “He loves the attention.”

The rest of the meal continues with little awkwardness and luckily the little ones keep them occupied. By the end of it, Lena almost doesn’t want to leave. She adores Alura and Kara is even beginning to open up more.

Kara’s phone begins to ring and she clears her throat and nods her head to the side. “It’s Lois. I’m going to go take this.”

Lena watches her slide out of the booth to take the phone call. She’s too far away to hear but she can see Kara nodding her head.

Alura is in the middle of telling a story about her favorite animals at the zoo when Kara returns looking a little frazzled. “Change of plans, Lu. Grandma and Grandpa are coming to pick you and your brother up!” Lena watches Kara closely and notices the crinkle between her eyes and despite the cheer in her voice, Lena can tell it’s forced. 

Lena and Kara work quietly while they clean up and get the kids ready for the trip outside to the parking lot. Alura is practically thrumming with excitement while Kara seems to be full of an odd nervousness that Lena finds extremely unusual.

Unsure of what to do, she turns to the trio and opens her mouth to say goodbye. “It was absolutely lovely meeting you Miss Alura.” Lena stoops down so she’s at eye level with the little girl and Lena barely manages to hide her surprise when she feels little arms wrap around her neck in a tight hug. She looks up to see Kara smiling softly at them and Lena wraps her arms around the young girl in return.

“Thanks for eating pizza with us!” Alura releases Lena and runs to the entrance of the restaurant. Lena chuckles at the little girl’s antics and looks back at Kara.

“Thank you for inviting me. This was nice. You have a wonderful family,” Lena says earnestly and Kara goes silent for a moment, as if she’s trying to find words.

When she finally looks up at Lena, Lena recognizes the sadness that she’s seen in Kara more than once tonight. “Thanks, Lena. That means a lot. I’m glad we could do this.” And Kara is now staring into Lena’s eyes with such intensity that Lena feels the need to look away. A car pulls up and Kara lets out a sigh and walks to the exit with Alura’s little hand in one of hers, while the other holds the baby carrier.

Lena quickly walks out of the restaurant and tries to avoid looking at the doting grandparents as they dote on their grandkids. She turns back for a moment and watches the older woman talk with Kara quietly away from the kids. The older woman places her hand on Kara’s cheek and gives her a sad smile and then pulls her in for a long hug.

She feels like she’s watching something she shouldn’t be. Something… personal and private. But she can’t help but feel curious about the sadness that has been leeching off of Kara all night. She has so many questions but knows she doesn’t deserve any answers. Just then Kara pulls away from her mother in law and wipes at her eyes and kisses her cheek.

Lena hurries to her car and lets out a shaky breath once she’s inside. With her eyes closed, she begins a slow count to 10. With her breathing back under control, she opens her eyes and starts her car.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees movement on her side and then there’s a loud knock that startles her. “Jesus, Kara. You scared the shit out of me.” Kara grins at her sheepishly as Lena rolls her window down.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you. I- I was hoping we could catch up a little more. I feel like we didn’t get to talk much and I’m child free for the rest of the evening.” Kara adjusts her glasses nervously as she looks away from Lena for a moment before meeting her eyes again.

“Look, Kara—” Lena sighs and shakes her head. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? You should go spend time with your significant other, I mean isn’t that what parents with young children dream of? A night alone?” 

Lena notices the hurt and sadness dance across Kara’s face and the guilt twists at Lena’s stomach painfully. It doesn’t last long, Kara quickly schools her features and replaces it with an exaggerated smile.

“You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I’ll just… go. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” The over-enthusiasm has returned to Kara’s voice. She starts to walk away and then double backs, hands stuffed in her pockets. “Lena? It really was nice seeing you again.” And with a faltering smile Kara turns and walks away at a brisk pace.

* * *

A few hours later Lena is standing in her kitchen pouring herself another glass of wine when she’s startled by a knock on her door. Eyebrows furrowing, she looks at the time. She wasn’t expecting anyone and it’s getting late.

Another knock resounds around her apartment, this time a little louder. “Okay, okay, I’m coming,” Lena whispers, slightly annoyed.

“Is there a reason you insist on banging on my —” Lena swings open the door and immediately stops in her tracks when she sees who is standing on her doorstep. “Alex? What are you doing here?”

Completely ignoring Lena, who has her arms crossed over her chest and is glaring at her with a pointed look. “Is Kara here?” Alex looks over Lena’s shoulder in search for her sister.

“Excuse me? She’s not here. Why would she be here?” Lena asks with an annoyed lilt.

Alex searches Lena’s eyes for a moment and bites her lower lip. “She said you guys were catching up. I figured when I hadn’t heard from her that you may have gone out or something.”

Lena feels unnerved by the look in Alex’s face. It’s true concern she sees and Lena can feel her heart rate picking up.

“Alex, she’s fine. We got dinner, her in laws picked up the kids, and then we went our separate ways. She said she was going to spend time with her spouse. She’s probably just putting that Kryptonian stamina to good use.” Okay, not an image she wanted to procure in her own mind, but she’s trying to placate a panicking Alex.

Which obviously isn’t working because Alex instantly goes pale. She grabs Lena’s forearm with force.

“Did she say that? Lena—” Alex closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

The knot in Lena’s stomach grows. “After her kids were picked up I walked to my car. She stopped me in the parking lot and asked if I wanted to catch up some more. I told her it wasn’t a good idea and that she should enjoy her alone time with her significant other. She agreed and that was it.”

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose and whispers, “damnit, Kara.”

Lena raises one eyebrow expectantly, trying her best to keep calm and neutral. “Do you want to come in? You look like you could use something to drink.”

Alex nods and brushes past Lena, making a beeline toward the kitchen and starts raiding Lena’s cabinets.

“Please, help yourself,” Lena answers sarcastically and sits on the stool across from the bar as she watches Alex down two fingers worth of scotch in one go. “Are you going to tell me what’s got you all riled up?”

Alex places her palms against the edge of the counter and leans against it with her head hanging down.

She lets out a deep sigh and then looks back up to meet Lena’s eyes. “Kara’s wife died last year. It’s extremely unusual for Kara not to answer her phone, but especially when her kids are not with her. I just figured, no I hoped, that it was going well with you two and that she just hadn’t looked at her phone yet.”

Lena slouches slightly at the news and her mouth instantly dries up as a chill goes down her spine. It explains so much. It explains  _ everything _ . The profound sadness she saw in Kara. The way Kara jumped in when Alura asked Lena about knowing her mommy. The tearful hug between Kara and her mother in law. The heartbreak on Kara’s face when she told her it was a bad idea spending more time together and that she should spend time with her other half.

God. She really fucked up. Kara probably didn’t want to be alone. “Fuck,” Lena whispers as the guilt piles onto her chest and weighs her down.

“Alex—” Lena starts, unsure of what to say.

“You didn’t know. I know.” Alex takes her phone out and thumbs something and brings the phone up to her ear. “I need to find her. She’s had a rough few weeks adjusting and I don’t want her to be alone.”

Lena nods and waits in anticipation. She can hear the phone ringing and then a click. “Kara? Kara, are you there? Where are you?” Alex’s voice has gone up, trying to compensate for the loud music and background noise coming in over the line.

And then silence.

Alex pulls the phone away from her face and looks at it, her screen now black indicating the call was disconnected.

“Shit!” Alex yells and slams her hand down on the counter.

“Did she say anything?”

“No, just mumbling nonsense. She’s drunk at a bar somewhere.”

“Okay. Well, she walked north from the market. There are some bars on that stretch of road that we can check,” Lena says quickly, and is up on her feet and on her way out the door when she turns to see Alex still standing there. “Come on, Danvers. It’ll be easier to find her with two of us.”

Alex chews on her lip for a minute but nods. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right.”

The first bar they check ends up being a flop. Same for the second and third. Lena and Alex are starting to get frantic as they walk across the street to the final bar in the vicinity.

Alex attempts to call Kara’s cell and the calls continue to go unanswered and straight to voicemail.

Alex goes inside the bar while Lena looks down the alley alongside the building. That’s when she sees someone sitting against the wall with their knees pulled up to the chest. She immediately recognizes the blonde hair and the clothing that Kara had been wearing earlier.

She slows her pace so as not to startle the woman, shoots Alex a text alerting her to their location and then kneels down in front of the blonde. “Kara? Can you hear me?”

Kara stirs slightly and groans. She picks her head up and Lena’s heart breaks, once again, at the sight before her. Kara’s eyes are bloodshot and filled with tears. One cheek is smeared with dirt and her clothes are completely disheveled and also covered in dirt.

“What are you doing here, Lena?”

“Alex and I are here looking for you. Are you hurt?” Lena reaches for Kara’s hand and Kara flinches away from her.

“You know I can’t get hurt.” Kara chuckles darkly as tears begin to roll down her face. “You should go.”

“I’m not leaving you here, Kara.” Lena looks back toward the entrance and hopes Alex hurries. She can tell that Kara is drunk and angry and in pain, and she has enough sense to know this isn’t going to end well.

“Why not? You did before. And tonight. Leaving is what you’re best at, Lena.” Kara’s words are dripping with venom and the hate that’s directed toward Lena is something that she’s not used to. Not with Kara. Even the days after the Crisis and all the hurt, lies, and pain that led up to Lena’s departure from National City, Kara still wasn’t like this. She’s never looked at Lena this way.

Lena feels a lump in her throat and she swallows thickly to try to regain her composure. “Come on, Kara. Alex is on her way and we’ll get you home.” Lena makes another attempt to grab Kara’s arm and this time she doesn’t fight it.

“Home,” Kara repeats with a snort and then groans as she is pulled to her feet by Lena.

“You aren’t going to throw up are you?” Kara shakes her head in response and Lena looks up to see Alex running in their direction.

“Jesus, Kara. Let’s get you home, okay?” Alex stands on the other side of Kara as they slowly make their way back to Lena’s car.

Alex and Kara slide in the backseat of Lena’s car and Lena looks in her rearview mirror at the two sisters. Kara is curled up against Alex and Alex is whispering things softly to Kara. The scene makes Lena’s heart squeeze and she quickly averts her eyes when Alex looks up and meets hers in the mirror.

Kara is fast asleep by the time they arrive at their destination: the Kent residence. Lena gets out to help drag the sleeping, dense Kryptonian to the house.

“We’ll just set her over here on the couch. That way we don’t have to drag her upstairs and wake the whole house,” Alex says while nodding her head in the direction of the couch.

Once Kara is settled, Alex begins to work on taking off Kara’s shoes. “Could you get me a wet washcloth? The bathroom is just down that hall over there and on the left.”

Lena walks down the bathroom and finds the washcloth and wets it. She takes the time to look at herself in the mirror. She looks exhausted. She feels exhausted. But she doesn’t have time to dwell on the events of the day, that’ll come later, so she wrings the washcloth out and heads back toward the living room.

She hands the washcloth over to Alex and watches as Alex wipes the dirt off her sister’s face with such care and gentleness. She sees the sadness and concern etched into Alex’s face and she’s grateful that Kara has someone like Alex in her life.

“Thanks for your help, Lena. I would have had no idea where to look for her,” Alex says seriously.

“Can I ask you a question?” Alex nods and Lena inhales deeply and pushes forward. “What are you guys doing in Metropolis?”

Alex looks over at her sister sleeping soundly on the couch. She sighs and looks back at Lena with her trademark smirk. “How much time do you have?”

They both settle in chairs on the front porch, beers in hand when Alex begins telling the story.

“It’s basically an extended vacation. It’s always been really important to Kara that her kids grow up around family. Pretty much since Lu was born they’ve been coming back here at least twice a year for a few weeks. It helps that Erin’s family is also here.” Alex is picking at the wrapper on her beer bottle as she pauses. “Erin. That’s—”

“Kara’s wife?” Lena answers for Alex and Alex nods. Lena reaches over to squeeze Alex’s knee, noticing the emotion in her face. 

Alex blows out a shaky breath and smiles gratefully at Lena. “Sorry. Anyway. Kara and the kids came here about a month ago. Clark and Lois asked Kara to come visit with the kids for the summer so they could help out and keep an eye on Kara. And I got here a week ago. My wife and our little ones will be joining us next week.” Alex finishes with a smile and Lena can’t help but smile back.

“Wow. I’m happy for both of you,” Lena says and she means it. She’s again struck with the guilt that she’s missed out on so much. Here Lena was continuing to build up her company and repairing the Luthor name and reputation, all the while Alex and Kara were building beautiful lives for themselves. She can’t help but feel sad she missed it but still so, so happy and proud of them.

They sit in silence for a bit, sipping on their bottles of beer as they’re both lost in their own thoughts.

“Why did you leave, Lena? National City,” Alex asks with purpose, as if she’s been wanting to ask Lena this very question for eight years.

Lena takes a big swig and swallows the bitter, citrusy liquid. She wipes the condensation from the outside of the bottle and then looks back up at Alex who is waiting expectantly for an answer. “Well… what do you know?”

“Nothing. Kara came to my apartment a mess and said you’d left. A week later it was in the news that L-Corp Headquarters switched back to the Metropolis location.”

Lena is staring straight ahead when she finally opens her mouth to talk. “I just wasn’t ever going to be enough. Good enough. And- well I couldn’t forgive myself after everything I did. I didn’t deserve friends like you. I convinced myself I deserved to be alone.” Lena attempts to swallow the lump that’s formed in her throat because she’s never said those words out loud.

She blinks away the mist that is beginning to form in her eyes. When she looks over at Alex, she notes the crooked frown on her face.

“Lena, you did mess up. Clearly you realize that. But… I thought things were okay? We all did. I mean you were coming around again and then you just vanished. What happened?”

Lena shifts in her seat uncomfortably. This was what she didn’t want to remember. The real reason she left National City. She sighs and cocks her eyebrow. “Kara never told you this?”

Alex shakes her head, eyebrows knitted together in confusion and Lena believes her. “That’s a story for another time. This,” Lena holds up the beer bottle, “is not nearly enough.”

“Does that mean we’ll see you again?” Lena hates how hopeful Alex sounds.

Lena opens her mouth to respond but hesitates. “I- I don’t know, Alex. This was nice. Things are still just so complicated…”

“No way. I would love to check out L-Corp’s R&D if you’d allow it?” Alex’s eyes are gleaming with excitement and Lena almost forgot how fun it was nerding out with Alex.

So of course before she could respectfully decline, she finds herself agreeing to it. “Sure. Just give me a call when you’re available and I’ll clear my schedule,” Lena says with a smile.

A few moments later they both walk back into the house and Lena hesitates at the couch. She watches the steady rise and fall of Kara’s chest as she takes slow, deep breaths. Kara’s face is smooth of all worry lines and Lena’s heart skips a beat at how peaceful she looks in this moment.

“Oh, Kara.” Lena whispers, voice raspy from emotion, as she pulls the blanket back up to her waist, her heart breaking for the woman who is sleeping so soundly on the couch. This isn’t what she wanted for Kara when she walked away all those years ago. 

She turns just in time to see Alex watching her from the other side of the living room with a raised eyebrow.

“Is this normal for her?” Lena asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer.

“The drinking and passing out in an alleyway behind some sleazy bar? No way, definitely not. She’s been on autopilot since Arlo was born. I can’t say that I haven’t been waiting for the other shoe to drop… it’s very similar to when —” Alex’s eyes widen and she clears her throat, “well, I haven’t seen her like this since she met Erin.”

The hidden meaning behind Alex’s blunder isn’t lost on Lena.

Lena looks from Kara to Alex and tries to keep her features neutral. “I should get going. It has been an extremely long day.”

“I can’t argue with you there. Thanks for the help, Lena. I’ll get in touch with you about that lab visit.” Alex smiles kindly at her and then Lena is surprised when she is engulfed in a strong hug.

Lena drives home in a daze, unsure of how to process everything. She’s not able to pick apart the day's events when she finally gets there, too tired and exhausted to even begin to unpack her feelings. She instead decides to change into her pajamas, before succumbing to the bone deep exhaustion. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I was definitely in a rush to get it posted before I start my work week tomorrow. Thanks for all the kudos and comments! It was extremely motivating and I loved everyone's inputs. More characters are introduced in this chapter so hopefully it makes sense...
> 
> Happy reading. :)

It’s been nearly a week and Lena hasn’t heard anything from Alex or Kara. She wasn’t expecting to hear anything, but now that she knows they’re here, she finds herself unable to keep her mind off the fact. 

She leans back and pinches the bridge of her nose. Her eyes feel like they’re starting to cross and she’s ready for a break. Lena sighs when she sees her long forgotten salad that she had pushed to the edge of her desk. She resigns herself to another hungry afternoon and gets back to work. 

About an hour later she’s interrupted by a knock on her door. 

“Come in.” Lena looks up from her paperwork, pen in hand, to see her assistant.

“There’s a Ms. Danvers here to see you. Should I send her in?” 

“Yes, of course, send her in. And reschedule my last meeting, please. Ms. Danvers and I will be heading down to the labs,” Lena says and her assistant nods before backing out of her office. 

Lena stands up and walks around her desk to meet Alex at the door, but when the door swings open she stops in her tracks. 

It isn’t the Danvers she was expecting. “Kara.” 

Kara closes the door behind her and smiles nervously. “Hi, Lena. I’m sorry to drop in like this. I was hoping we could talk?” Kara holds up a greasy bag that’s surely full of cheeseburgers and greasy fries. “I brought food. I wasn’t sure if you’d already eaten, but I’m starving.” 

“Me too. Please, come sit.” Lena leads the way to her couch and takes the heaping bag of food from Kara and sets it down on the table in front of them. It’s almost like second nature, divvying up their food and Lena feels a twinge in her chest when she realizes that Kara has remembered her usual order. 

It’s mostly silent except for the sound of wrinkling paper and chewing. Lena is a few bites into her cheeseburger when Kara is just finishing up her first. 

“This is a nice office. I bet the view is amazing,” Kara states as she looks around Lena’s office.

Lena shrugs. “Yeah, it’s nice. Truthfully, I don’t even notice anymore. It’s all just metal and glass out there,” Lena surmises and they both go back to their food, and silence.

Kara gathers up all of their trash when they’re done and walks it to the trash by Lena’s door. Lena’s eyes follow Kara from the trash bin to the balcony door behind Lena’s desk where she stops. 

“Could we maybe go outside? I could use some air.” Kara asks without turning back toward Lena. 

Lena doesn’t answer, but instead gets up and walks the short distance to the door. Kara walks out as she hears the clicking of Lena’s heels getting closer and holds the door open for Lena. 

Lena follows Kara to the balcony edge and they both lean against the railing. She recognizes Kara as she tries to work herself up to speak, so she lets Kara roll through the motions. 

She’s rewarded a couple minutes later when Kara finally opens her mouth to speak. 

“Alex says I’m not… handling my grief in a healthy manner. We got in an argument over it.” 

“Everyone grieves differently.” Lena offers as they both stare out at the cityscapes, not daring to look at each. “What do you think?” 

Kara sighs as she wringes her fingers together in front of her. “I think that… my wife died last year. I have two kids that I’m trying to raise on my own. Everything else is an afterthought, it all blurs together.” 

“It’s okay to ask for help, Kara. Alex loves you. She’s just worried about you.” Lena takes a look at Kara and notices the way Kara is clenching her jaw and blinking back tears. 

Kara turns to meet Lena’s stare. “I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I hope you know I didn’t mean what I said.” Kara grimaces and looks down at the ground. “I was drunk and upset and you were there, an easy target. You didn’t deserve that. That’s why I came here today… to apologize for my behavior. I wanted to come sooner but I was kind of embarrassed.” 

Lena is startled by the earnestness in Kara’s voice. “You don’t need to apologize, Kara. You’re going through a lot right now.” 

Kara nods and then turns back toward the city. 

“Well enough of that heavy stuff. I actually have another reason for coming here. I was sent here on a very important mission,” Kara says with a grin as she turns to look at Lena. 

“Oh, really? What kind of mission might this be?” Lena responds with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms, a small smile tugging at her lips. 

Kara reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a sparkly pink envelope. “Alura’s birthday is on Sunday and we’re throwing a party for her. She insisted I hand deliver this to you. She’s —” Kara swallows and adjusts her glasses nervously, “well, we were all hoping you’d come. It’s at Clark’s and it’ll just be us, Clark’s family, and Alex’s family. J’onn might stop by later but that’s still up in the air.” Kara finishes quickly without pausing. 

“Oh. Wow.” Surprise coloring Lena’s tone. She takes the invitation in her hands with wide eyes and an open mouth, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t feel pressured,” Kara hurries out. “Just know that you’re welcome to come.” 

Lena takes the invitation from Kara and they both turn back to their previous positions, both leaning against the balcony overlooking the city. 

After a long moment of silence, Lena finally asks the question that’s been trying to claw its way out of her. “Why didn’t you tell me, Kara?” It’s a question that’s uttered so softly that if it wasn’t for super hearing, Lena would wonder if Kara has even heard her. 

And the question is so familiar to Lena. It’s the same question she asked Kara eight years ago when they were finally able to have a healthy conversation about Kara not telling Lena the truth about Supergirl.

Kara sucks air into her lungs and holds it. She squints out into the open air and then looks back to Lena. “Everyone looks at me like I’m going to shatter at any moment. They have this knee jerk reaction whenever Alura asks me about her mom, or when Arlo hits a new milestone. It was nice not seeing pity in a person's eyes for once. I also didn’t want to scare you off… that’s a lot of baggage to unpack in a first meeting in eight years, even for us.” Kara smirks, but Lena can tell it’s all for show. She figures that’s a good enough explanation for now and decides to let it go, instead of hanging onto it.

Lena looks at the pink envelope in her hands and makes her decision. “What sort of things might a soon to be four year old like?” 

Kara launches into giving Lena as much information about her daughter as she possibly can. That turns into sharing entertaining stories about her children and parenthood and before Lena knows it, it’s well into the evening and they’re back to sitting on the couch. 

Kara’s phone chimes indicating a text and she glances at it quickly and chuckles. “Well, I should probably get going. Aunt Alex and Clark are on kid duty tonight and I think they need an adult there,” Kara jokes. 

Lena laughs and walks Kara to the door. Kara hesitates and turns back toward Lena. “Thanks for hearing me out and again, I’m really sorry for being such a jerk. See you on Sunday.” Kara beams and then she’s turning to leave Lena’s office. 

As soon as Lena gets home she sits down at her couch, laptop and wine in hand, and begins researching age appropriate gift ideas. It’s well into the early hours of the morning before she feels satisfied with her research. Of course, if asked about it later she would definitely deny it. 

Saturday sees Lena driving around the city making purchases and sitting in the middle of her living room trying to perfect her wrapping skills. Her only companions, wine and some very colorful language. 

She’s a ball of nerves come Sunday morning and she even considers texting Kara and telling her she was called into work for an emergency. But then she catches sight of the sparkly pink envelope on her kitchen counter and knows that she can’t back out now. Not when she remembers the personalized scribbles that are within the invitation. Sighing, Lena grabs the invitation and sticks it to the middle of her fridge with a magnet, a smile slowly stretching across her face. 

As soon as Lena gets out of the car she can hear shrieking children coming from behind the house. Lena rereads the text Kara sent her an hour ago letting her know to come in through the side gate to the backyard. 

Taking a deep breath that doesn’t do anything to soothe her nerves, she grabs the gifts and walks to the side of the house. 

Lena follows the rock path along the house and can see where it opens up to the large fenced- in-backyard. She scans the yard and takes in her surroundings. 

The streamers and balloons are a definite giveaway that it’s a birthday party. There’s a long picnic table set up in the middle of the yard and a smaller table set up for gifts alongside it. 

And then she starts scanning the area for faces she may recognize. 

Clark is manning a grill on the wooden patio. Lois and Alex are sitting at the picnic table having a very animated conversation. Lena recognizes the little bundle in Alex’s arms to be a sleeping Arlo. There are several other children, all under the age of 10, running around the yard playing a game of tag. 

Lena is struck by how comfortable everyone is. Like this is something they’ve done a million other times. And Lena supposes they probably have. And she remembers how comfortable she once was when she was a part of these little gatherings. 

Lena immediately begins to feel like she’s an outsider. Heart beating wildly as she asks herself why she’s doing this to herself again. Then she’s suddenly startled out of her mild panic. 

Blue eyes meet green from across the yard. But Kara hasn’t just glanced up and noticed Lena standing there. No, Kara is staring at Lena dead on, and  _ has _ been looking at Lena since she came into view, almost as if she knew the exact moment Lena arrived. 

And it feels like an eternity of just staring, neither one brave enough to look away. So Lena nods her head and Kara offers a small wave. Kara is sitting on a blanket in the grass, legs stretched out in front of her, and appears to be playing with Alura. 

“Hey there. Let’s get those presents over to the table and I’ll get you a drink.” Lena is once again startled by the unexpected voice and glances to the left and realizes that Lois also noticed her presence.

“Sure, that’d be great.” Lena smiles gratefully and follows behind Lois and she chances a glance back toward Kara. She’s no longer looking in her direction and has already returned her attention back to her daughter. 

“The red cooler has the adult beverages, the blue one has the kiddie stuff, and inside has the really good stuff,” Lois says with a smirk as she leads Lena inside the kitchen through the sliding glass door. 

Just as Lena is about to respond, she’s engulfed in a tight hug. One she returns equally as hard when she realizes who it is. 

“God, I’ve missed you.” Lena hears muffled in her hair and she has to bite back tears as she offers a ‘me too’ in response. 

And it’s not like she hasn’t seen or heard from Sam over the years. When Lena left National City it was under the assurance that Sam would take over the National City location. 

They exchange emails daily and talk on the phone multiple times a week. Sam flies to Metropolis every few months for the quarterly meetings. But they don’t  _ talk _ . Lena hasn’t allowed their interactions to go beyond anything professional and that’s something that Sam understands she needs. 

Because it became messy after Sam had announced that she and Alex were officially dating a couple months before Lena left National City. And when Sam announced they were getting married after Lena was already in Metropolis, she respectfully declined her invitation but made sure to send them a wonderful wedding gift. 

And when Sam requested time off because they adopted their first child together, Lena made sure she gave Sam all the time she needed off and even coordinated with Sam’s assistant to set up a beautiful baby shower that she wasn’t a part of. 

She was fine with being on the sidelines and it was an unspoken agreement that when they got together for lunches when Sam was in Metropolis, they didn’t talk about the difficult things. They definitely didn’t talk about Kara or the life and family she was apparently building. They didn’t talk about Alex or Ruby or the three children she and Alex had adopted together. 

She only knew about the things she needed to know about, things she needed to know about as a boss. 

And that was something Lena fooled herself into believing she was okay with as she clings to Sam, both a bunch of blubbering messes. 

When they finally pull apart, Sam wipes away the tears that have fallen down Lena’s face. “You asshole. I haven’t cried like that since Ruby graduated.” And Lena can’t help the hysterical laugh that spills out of her throat. 

“Show me which one are yours?” Lena asks with a watery voice. 

Sam nods and takes her hand and leads her back to the sliding glass door, mostly out of view from everyone. Sam points to a boy with brown, curly hair. “That’s Jeremiah. He’s eight. He drives us absolutely crazy but he’s such a good big brother to the little ones.” Lena smiles and then Sam points to a little girl with long brown hair and a toothless smile. “That’s Elizabeth, she insists Ellie for short. She’s six. She and Jeremiah are biological siblings that we got while fostering. She has Alex absolutely wrapped around her finger. And our youngest, Lucas, is the one that’s currently over there eating dirt.” Lena follows Sam’s finger and does in fact see the little boy with dark hair sitting in dirt, fisting it into his mouth. 

“They’re beautiful, Sam.” Lena laughs and watches as Kara scoops her youngest nephew up and begins tickling him. The laugh slowly dies on her lips as she realizes that she’s going to have to go out there and interact with everyone. Sam glances at her and squeezes the hand she’s still holding. “Are you going to be okay? When Alex told me she saw you and that you were coming today… Well, honestly, I was surprised.” 

Lena lets out a deep breath. “Yeah, me too. I’ll be okay.” Lena wishes she believed it. There’s no way for Lena to have predicted how the night would end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is significantly shorter than the previous chapter, but as I kept typing I felt like it was dragging on so I decided to split it up some. Next chapter will feature some fluff (of course, how can you not), angst, and some tears.


	3. Chapter Three

All the kids warm up to Lena almost immediately as she’s introduced to everyone after Sam guides her back outside. 

Ellie has especially taken to Lena and insists she sit on Lena’s lap while all the adults sit around the picnic table and talk. 

Lena is only half listening to the conversation as she delicately works the little girl’s hair into a French braid per her very insistent request. She is learning very quickly what Sam meant when she said Alex was unable to say no to her.

She puts Ellie back down when she’s done and continues to half listen while she watches the kids play and run around the yard, a fond smile on her face. 

Lena never thought she’d enjoy spending a Sunday afternoon sitting outside in the summer heat watching and listening to screaming children chase each other in endless circles, but here she is smiling and laughing along with them. She knows they’re just overexcited and showing off for her because she’s new, but it’s still precious to her. 

Turning her attention back to the group, she finds Alex, Sam, and Lois in another animated conversation while Clark shakes his head with an amused smile on his face. When she chances a glance over at Kara, her heart squeezes at the despondent, far away look she sees at Kara staring off in the distance.

“Pardon me?” Lena looks down at the little finger poking her leg to see Alura and Ellie holding hands.

Lena can’t help but smile at Alura’s impeccable manners. “Yes, birthday girl?” 

“Can you do my hair like hers?” Alura asks with a point to Ellie’s hair, a shy smile on her face. 

“I would love to. Come on up here.” Lena helps the little girl up onto her lap and takes a moment to comb her fingers through the long, blonde curls. 

“Are you having a fun day?” Lena asks as she works Alura’s hair. 

Lena chuckles as the little girl bobs her head up and down fervently. “Yes! My mom came into my room this morning and woke me up with choc chip pancakes, which are my favorite, and then I went to lunch with my grandma and grandpa and when I came back everyone was here and the house was decorated.” 

“Wow, that does sound fun,” Lena says with a chuckle. 

“Do you like pancakes?” Alura asks seriously as she turns her head to glance at Lena. 

Lena gasps and leans over so she can look at her and playfully scrunches her face. “I love pancakes.” Alura giggles and then looks forward again. 

Lena doesn’t find it surprising that Kara’s daughter would love pancakes, and would appear to be very offended had Lena said no. She remembers the first time Kara suggested breakfast for dinner one night at Kara’s apartment. 

_ Kara plopped down on her couch and let out a loud groan. “Lena, please tell me you did not bring over a kale salad for dinner.”  _

_ “Excuse me? There’s nothing wrong with my kale salad.” Lena challenges with a raised eyebrow.  _

_ But Kara doesn’t back down and stares back equally as hard. “Yes, there is. Didn’t you see the sign on my front door? It very specifically says, ‘No Kale.’ Come on. We’re having breakfast for dinner. If there’s one thing I can cook, it’s definitely pancakes.” Lena just balks at Kara as she stands up and reaches for Lena’s hand with an adorable smile on her face.  _

_ Lena accepted the gesture and was then led to Kara’s barstools where she was made to sit and watch as Kara cooks her pancakes. For dinner.  _

_ “If only my family could see me now. Eating breakfast for dinner is very un-Luthor like. You, Kara Danvers, are a bad influence.” Lena giggles as she watches Kara smile through a way-too-big bite of pancakes.  _

Lena shakes her head at the memory and tunes back in to Alura, who was unaware that Lena was just sucked up into a memory of her mother. And when Lena looks up her stomach drops because of course Alex, Sam, and Kara are all looking at her and Alura. She feels her cheeks heat up at the attention and smiles tentatively while trying to ignore the slight shake of her fingers. 

When she glances up again, Kara is back to cuddling a squirmy Lucas while Sam and Alex coo over Arlo. 

Alura doesn’t immediately leave Lena’s lap once she’s done with her hair. She seems content to sit and rest on her lap with her back to Lena’s chest while Lena has her arm draped securely across Alura’s little body. Lena’s smile grows when she feels a small pair of hands begin to absently play with the fingers on her hands. 

Lena and Alura are so distracted by their surroundings that they don’t notice when someone approaches them. 

“You ladies hungry?” Lena and Alura both look to their right to see Kara precariously balancing four paper plates across her arms, all filled with food. 

Lena half expects Alura to abandon her lap for another chair, but instead she sits up straighter as the plates are placed down in front of them, apparently intending on staying put. Lena is also surprised when Kara doesn’t return to her previous spot down on the other side of the table, but instead sits down next to them.

“Thank you, Kara. This looks great.” Kara smiles at her and then turns her attention to Alura. 

“Your hair looks beautiful, Lu,” Kara says with a silvery laugh. 

“Lena did it, mama. She did Ellie’s too,” Alura exclaims happily and Lena blushes when Kara gives Lena a knowing smile. 

Everyone eats their food all over the yard. Most of the adults, as well as the younger kids, sit at the table while the older boys sit at the swings. 

After they’re done eating, Alura begins to fidget in Lena’s lap. “Mom?” Alura asks and even though Lena can’t see her face, she can feel her little body tense up in her arms. 

Kara smiles in encouragement and Alura adjusts herself so that Lena can see the profile of her face, as the little girl now faces Kara. 

“Grandma and Grandpa took me to the lake to send off some flowers for mommy. I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her today.” 

And it’s such a simple statement, but the sentimental meaning causes Lena’s stomach to drop and she holds her breath as she watches multiple emotions dance across Kara’s face. Kara smiles softly and just as softly whispers, “that’s a good idea. She would love that.” 

Alura nods her head shakily and it becomes obvious the little girl is fighting off her own emotions. Kara pats her lap and motions for her to come over, so Lena slightly lifts Alura to help her crawl over. 

Lena can feel her own eyes begin to tear up at the sight of Alura in Kara’s lap, wiping each other’s tears away. Wrapped in each other’s arms, they seek comfort from each other at the unimaginable loss they’re both feeling at this moment. Wanting to give them privacy, Lena stands up and rubs Alura’s back and squeezes Kara’s shoulder briefly before walking away.

She finds herself wandering into the quiet house and lets out a shaky breath. Cool glass of water in hand, Lena walks around the same living room she was in the other night, but now she allows herself to look at the many photos that adorn the walls. 

The photos are mostly of the Kent family. Clark and Lois’ wedding day. Birth photos of Jon and Conner respectively. Family vacations. But the one that catches her eye appears to be from a Christmas party. Lena slowly scans the photo from left to right. Lois, Sam, and Alex are sitting on a couch alongside Kara. And then Lena’s eyes land on the profile of a woman with brown, curly hair leaning against the arm of the couch with her legs thrown over Kara’s lap, feet resting on Alex. It’s a candid photo, none of them looking at the camera as they laugh at some unknown thing. 

Startled out of her thoughts when Sam sidles up to her, Sam’s eyes follow Lena’s to the framed photo. “Awh. That was a good night. They had just announced that Erin was pregnant with Alura,” Sam says with a sad smile and Lena places her hand on her back in an attempt to offer comfort. 

“I saw you sneak off and wanted to check on you. How are you doing?” Sam asks curiously and Lena finally looks away from the happy, laughing Kara in the photo. 

“I’m okay, Sam. Just came inside for a little break.” Lena knows she’s not being very convincing, but she’s relieved when Sam doesn’t push the topic. 

Lena fixes Sam with a humorous glint in her eyes. “And where did you disappear to, Sam? Don’t think I didn’t notice you and Alex sneaking off after eating.” 

Sam, with absolutely no shame, just shrugs her shoulder, a smirk on her face. “So what, we snuck off to the bathroom. Have you seen Alex today? And then she gets handsy when she’s had a few beers… I couldn’t resist taking advantage of all this extra parental supervision.” 

Lena lets out a full on belly laugh and shoves her shoulder playfully. 

“Come on. It looks like they’re about to start presents,” Sam says while grabbing Lena’s hand as they hurry to the backyard. 

The unwrapping of presents is cute and fun and everything one would expect it to be. Alura sits in Kara’s lap until she’s too overcome with excitement to sit still and ends up standing on the bench while Kara steadies her clumsy daughter with an arm wrapped around her legs. Everyone laughs at Kara and Clark when they blush over a gift that’s craftily wrapped in paper covered with their family crest. It’s Lena’s turn to blush when Alura absolutely loses it and gushes over the enrichment related gifts from her, and Lena nearly chokes when Kara gives her a mirthful wink. 

Clark volunteers to get the cake ready and all the kids chase after him in excitement leaving Kara, Alex, Sam, Lois, Lena, and the two babies. Lena almost immediately notices Kara fidgeting and bouncing her knee nervously. Alex seems to notice too because she stops fussing over her youngest and eyes Kara cautiously. 

“Kara?” Alex whispers, concern written all over her face. 

Kara’s head snaps up to her sister and she shakes her head and offers up a weak smile. 

Lena continues to look on as Alex looks over at Sam desperately, who is sitting on the other side of Kara, with the same look of concern. It’s obvious that Alex doesn’t know what to say to Kara and is looking to her wife for some assistance. “I saw Luke eating some dirt earlier. Any rocks I should be concerned about?” Lena laughs at Sam’s desperate attempt to get Kara to talk, but it seems to work. Kara just looks at his belly for a moment and smiles at him while pinching his bare foot. 

“No rocks. He’s okay, Sam.” Lena realizes suddenly this is the first time she has seen Kara use her powers since being around her again. 

“That must come in handy with all these kids,” Lena says while watching Kara. 

“You have no idea,” Kara jokes and Alex seems to relax.

“What is taking my dear husband so long?” Lois asks with a sigh as she looks toward the house while bouncing Arlo in her lap. 

Kara glances up and stares toward the house for a moment. Her frown deepens and she immediately stands and makes a quick dash back to the house before another word could be said. The remaining women look at each other in confusion and Alex stands up when Clark emerges from the sliding glass door. 

He holds up his hands to ease Alex’s worries. “It’s okay, Alex. They’ll be out soon. Lois, can you help me with the cake?” Lois nods and then turns to place Arlo in Lena’s surprised arms. 

She tries to distract herself from the feeling she has in the pit of her stomach by bouncing the happy baby in her lap. 

“I should go in there,” Alex huffs as she stands quickly and throws one leg over the bench she and Sam are sitting on. Sam quickly grabs her elbow and yanks her back down, leaving Alex now astride the bench and facing Sam. 

“Babe, no. Sit down. Clark said everything is okay and if she needs you, she’ll come to you.” Lena watches Sam and Alex stare at each other for a moment before Alex concedes and relaxes once more. She feels envious and happy at the same time as she watches Alex slide closer to Sam and wrap her arms around her and their youngest while nuzzling into Sam’s neck. It’s disgustingly cute and incredibly intimate and Lena looks away and focuses her attention back on Arlo. 

Just when Lena really starts to get suspicious, the glass door opens and all the kids and Clark and Lois return with a big, decorated cake. Lena’s concern increases when she sees that Kara and Alura aren’t with them. 

Clark places the cake on the table and looks around the table with his typical easy, reassuring smile. “Sounds like they’re coming down,” Clark says and Lois lights the candles on the cake quickly and they all stand. 

As soon as Kara walks outside holding Alura in one arm, Lena can sense the anguish rolling off her. Kara pauses for a moment and scans the table and Lena knows she’s looking for her son once her eyes land on his sleeping form in Lena’s arms and she visibly relaxes. 

Lena doesn’t think she’s ever seen Kara look so defeated. She looks like she’s just barely hanging on when she stands next to Lena and whispers a ‘thank you’ to her after standing an unusually quiet Alura up on the bench. Kara caresses her hand down Arlo’s head and down his back, where her fingers lightly graze Lena’s own fingers that are securely holding the sleeping baby to her chest. 

Kara’s eyes are red-rimmed and watery when she meets Lena’s gaze. Lena doesn’t act on her instant, knee-jerk reaction to reach out and comfort Kara and instead tries to relay to Kara that it's okay with her eyes. If this was before, Lena would reach over and hold Kara’s hand without a second thought. But now they have eight years and so many unspoken things between them. She doesn’t know if Kara would welcome the gesture now. She doesn’t know if she trusts herself to be what Kara needs right now.  _ Just like before _ , Lena thinks bitterly. 

Kara drops her hand back to her side and averts her attention back to Alura. Lena’s eyebrows knit together when she notices the little girl is clutching a picture frame to her chest. Her eyes and face look red and slightly puffy like she’s been crying as well. When she starts talking, Lena’s heart breaks all over again. 

“I wanted my mommy here so she could watch me blow out my candles,” Alura explains with a little voice as she sets the picture frame down so the frame is facing her. Lena glances at the frame and sees the woman from the earlier photo and a toddler Alura. The photo shows Alura sitting on the kitchen counter, waving a mixing spoon in the air, her other hand grasping her mom’s shirt. They’re facing each other, but her mom is slightly turned toward the camera with a look of pure love on her face. It’s a perfect photo and Lena’s incredibly grateful that Kara was able to capture this beautiful moment for Alura. 

It’s pure chaos again once Happy Birthday is sung and the cake is cut up. Lena puts a still sleeping Arlo down in his bassinet that’s sitting beside the table and watches Alura as she eats her cake crowded between her cousins. This seems to cheer her up a little and Lena smiles at her resilience. 

Lena sits at the table again and is joined by Sam. “You okay?” Lena asks gently. Sam just wordlessly takes her hand.

Lena startles when Sam slaps her hand down on the table angrily. “God damnit, Alex.” Lena looks up at Sam questioningly as she gets off the bench quickly and stalks toward the house. Lena’s eyes follow her path and she sees Alex and Kara standing in the doorway in what appears to be an argument. Sam shoves both of them through the doorway and then they’re out of sight.

Lena’s heart begins to race because she’s never seen Alex and Kara act so contentious with each other. Unable to stop herself, she makes sure Clark and Lois can handle all the kids and then makes her way up to the house. Before she even makes it to the glass door, she hears harsh voices and immediately closes the door behind her. 

The women are all standing in a circle and Kara is turned away from them. “I’m just trying to help you, Kara. We all are!” Alex practically yells. “Please-please let us help you.” Her voice breaks with emotion. 

Kara tries to walk away but Alex latches onto her elbow. She immediately wrenches it out of Alex’s grasp and turns on her quickly. “Alex. Let me go, now,” Kara says so calmly that it unnerves Lena. 

Alex lets go of Kara and Kara storms off, leaving Lena trying to grasp the situation. Alex begins to sob uncontrollably and Sam holds her. 

Once again unsure of what to do, Lena begins to backtrack and make her way back outside until Sam looks at Lena over the top of Alex’s head and puts her hand up to stop her. Sam and Alex sink to the floor and Sam continues to hold her and stroke her hair. 

“I thought we were past this point, Sam. I thought she had forgiven me,” Alex whispers and Sam squeezes her eyes shut and looks up at Lena with tears in her eyes and nods her head in the direction Kara went. Lena’s eyes widen because out of all people, why would she be the one to go comfort Kara? She has to be one of the last people Kara would want to see right now. Sam nods her head again a little more desperately and Lena sighs. She holds her breath as she walks to the edge of the kitchen and turns down the hallway Kara went. She listens for any indication of where Kara might be. 

And finally she comes across the closed bathroom door and knows that this is where Kara is. 

Heart racing as she’s about to knock, Lena’s closed fist hesitates over the closed door and she lets out a short breath as she rests her forehead against the cool, wooden door. She can hear muffled crying through the door and she squeezes her eyes shut and decides to push through her fear. Because Lena was done hesitating. She fiddles with the locked door knob for a moment before it yields and gives way.

Lena sucks in air as if she was just hit in the chest at the sight she sees before her. She finds Kara on the floor with her back to the bathroom sink cabinets with her knees pulled to her chest.

Kara’s crying.

Lena takes a deep breath and sits across from Kara. She leans against the bathtub opposite Kara and her legs are stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles. 

Kara doesn’t acknowledge that Lena has just walked in on her. And Lena doesn’t say anything. She knows that’s not what Kara needs right now. She doesn’t need to be touched or told it’s going to be okay. She just needs to feel the presence of someone with her; to know she’s not alone. 

Lena loses track of time of how long they sit in silence in the darkened bathroom. But eventually Lena is rewarded for her efforts when Kara’s sobs turn into shallow breaths. And then the shallow breaths turn into sniffles. And then Kara is no longer crying at all and her legs slowly slide out in front of her to match Lena’s position. Lena watches as Kara tilts her head back against the cabinet and takes a deep, shaky breath. 

“The door was locked,” Kara says, her head still tilted back. Kara’s tone was almost sarcastic, and Lena laughs because of course she would spend all this time in the bathroom with a crying Kara and that’s the first thing she says.

“It was. But those privacy door knobs are pretty easy to open if you twist hard enough.”

Kara snorts and then looks at Lena and Lena suddenly feels pinned under her gaze, unable to move or breathe. The blonde then looks away and begins to play with her fingers.

“I’m surprised they haven’t busted down the door yet. She hasn’t left me alone all night,” Kara says, and Lena knows the “she” Kara is referring to must be Alex. 

Trying to find the right words so as not to upset Kara further, Lena pauses for a moment. “Sam has her hands full. She sent me this way.” 

Kara nods her head and wipes at her face. “Well, thank you. I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

Lena swallows down her questions about her relationship with Alex and what was going on. “So are you? Okay, I mean.” Lena trails off, not wanting to push Kara like Alex did. 

Kara looks at the wall behind Lena, like she’s lost in thought. Kara laughs darkly and Lena is reminded of the night she found her drunk in the alleyway. “No. I’m a mess. I have no idea how I’m supposed to do this. How I’m supposed to be around Alex and act like everything is okay. When we celebrated Alura’s third birthday a year ago, I didn’t imagine we’d be doing this without my wife on her fourth. Alex—”

Lena squeezes Kara’s ankle to get her attention. “We don’t have to talk about you and Alex right now, Kara. It’s okay to be a mess. You don’t have to be perfect.” 

And that seems to hit the nail on the head for Kara because her face crumples again and she covers it with her hands as she starts to cry again. Almost like she’s on autopilot, Lena finds herself sliding across the floor and sitting beside Kara. Kara’s head drops onto Lena’s shoulder as she cries and Lena’s left hand reaches across herself to rest on Kara’s forearm. 

Kara never pulls away from Lena once her crying quiets down. So they sit there in silence for a long time as Kara calms down -- Kara’s head still on Lena’s shoulder and Lena’s thumb rubbing circles on Kara’s forearm. She almost wonders if Kara has fallen asleep, but knows she hasn’t based on her breathing. Lena listens as she hears kids running around the house and upstairs and then it’s suddenly quiet, and Lena knows it must be late.

Lena applies more pressure to Kara’s arm and Kara straightens up and looks at her with a questioning look, eyes red and glazed over from her bouts of tears. “How about some cake?” Lena asks. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Sam and Alex had sex in here earlier.” They both laugh and Lena feels lighter when Kara nods her head. 

Lena is half expecting to be bombarded once they leave the bathroom, but the house is mostly dark and totally silent. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen? I’m just going to go upstairs and check on the kids,” Kara says.

Lena murmurs an “okay” and walks to the kitchen and serves up two pieces of the cake. Looking at the clock, she realizes that she’s been waiting nearly 15 minutes for Kara to return. 

Curiosity getting the best of her, and knowing she’s being slightly nosy, she decides to make the trek upstairs to make sure Kara is okay. There’s one door cracked open with a light on and what she sees warms her heart and brings tears to her eyes. 

Kara is on her knees alongside the bed, next to a sleeping Alura whispering to her softly. Wanting to give her as much privacy as possible, she decides to make her way back downstairs unbeknownst to her that Kara has already heard her. 

Lena texts Sam letting her know that Kara is doing better and that she got her to come out of the bathroom. 

When Lena sees Kara again a short while later, she looks lighter. “They are totally zonked out,” Kara says with a small smile. 

“How long do you think you’ll be in Metropolis?” Lena asks once they’re done with their pieces of cake. 

Kara hums as she thinks about the answer. “I’m not sure. I’m not ready to go back home.” 

Lena can understand Kara not wanting to go home so she decides not to press it further. Lena begins to notice the heaviness of Kara’s features and her longer than normal blinks. She can tell Kara is exhausted. “It’s getting late, Kara. I should probably get going so you can get some rest.” 

Kara’s eyes widen as Lena stands up. “Wait, I’ll walk you to your car.” 

“I’m sorry you had to see my argument with Alex.” Kara apologizes again as they stand next to Lena’s car.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Kara. But you aren’t going to feel better until you talk to her about whatever it is that’s going on. You know she won’t either.” Kara looks down and nods her head. 

“I know. I keep telling myself I’ve forgiven her, but I don’t think I have. And then I lash out and treat her awfully. She doesn’t deserve it,” Kara says and Lena can tell that she feels guilty about it. That she’s not intentionally trying to hurt her sister. 

“Sounds familiar,” Lena says quickly and instantly regret floods her when she sees Kara’s eyes widen. Lena thinks this is probably the first time they’ve acknowledged anything about their past and it throws her for a loop. “Sorry,” Lena apologizes weakly. 

“It’s okay, Lena. Don’t apologize.” Kara says and then exhales loudly. “I should probably get back in there. Thank you for coming today and making Alura’s day special. I know it couldn’t have been easy, but it means a lot to us. To me.” 

“Thanks for having me,” Lena responds with a smile and then turns to open her car door. Kara abruptly puts her hand on the car door to stop it from opening. 

“Wait, Lena?” Kara asks nervously and Lena’s eyebrows go up in surprise. “This is going to sound juvenile.” Kara chuckles and then bites her lip. “Are we friends? I know you were quiet today. And maybe even holding yourself back. I know that’s mostly normal so I tried not to push you too much. But will this be like before? When we lost you?” Kara looks at Lena seriously. “I don’t- I don’t think any of us could handle that again.” Lena feels trapped for a moment under Kara’s stare. 

She thinks about it for a moment. She thinks back to their friendship in National City. She thinks about the fallout of their friendship and the events leading up to her move back to Metropolis. She thinks about how she’s grown and matured since moving back here. She thinks about how hard it’s been seeing Kara and her old friends and the families they’ve all built after she turned her back on them. 

“Kara —” Lena starts and then stops and she feels her palms grow sweaty. She knows she has to tread carefully because now is not the time for them to discuss this. Kara isn’t emotionally ready for that. “It’s obvious that a lot of things have changed for both of us. But... I would love to hang out with your kids again.” Lena laughs when Kara gapes at her and slaps a hand over her chest and staggers back. This seems to diffuse the tension that has built around them. 

“Ouch, Lena. My wounded heart. But they do make for some excellent company. Does that make me biased?” Kara smiles and Lena detects the twinkle that has been absent from the last half of the night. Kara is making a joke. Kara is being silly. Lena lets the feeling soothe the anxiousness she’s felt all night at Kara’s rollercoaster of emotions. 

Lena rolls her eyes and is powerless to stop the slight lift of the corner of her lips. 

“Not at all. Just don’t get offended when I ask to hang out with your kids.” Kara rolls her eyes and then opens Lena’s door for her.

“Text me when you get home?” Kara asks hopefully and Lena nods. 

“Yes, I will. Goodnight, Kara.” 

“Goodnight.” Kara watches Lena as she drives off and only when she’s out of sight does Kara walk back inside. 

Lena texts Kara as soon as she gets home and shakes her head at the silly emojis Kara sends back. 

She knows she should take a step back because she’s already growing attached but she knows she can’t do that. Not again. She knows that Kara is starting to wiggle her way back into Lena’s heart and she is powerless to stop it. She knows they need to talk about the big things, that avoiding everything that happened was only going to spell out more heartbreak for the both of them. But Kara isn’t ready for that, and to be honest Lena isn’t either. 

With that final thought, Lena drifts off to sleep, dreaming of the day spent in the sun spent playing with Alura and Arlo alongside Kara.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I apologize it took so long to get this chapter out. Life was busy last month and I want to make sure I get everything right. Please leave any comments for ideas, questions, concerns. Not everything has been revealed yet, but I’m working up to it!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most, if not all, questions should be answered this chapter! Also, it’s likely to hurt your feelings, but they’re getting there!
> 
> Sorry about any mistakes - I was in a hurry.
> 
> :)

“Kara? What are you doing here?” Lena asks with confusion written all over her face. She’s just finished her last soul sucking meeting of the day and was on her way back to her office when she stumbled across the blonde sitting in a chair waiting.

Kara stands up quickly and offers Lena a small wave while adjusting her glasses. “Hi, Lena. I’m sorry to surprise you again like this. Your assistant said you were in a meeting so I offered to sit and wait.”

Lena’s eyes bulge out of her head and she glares at her assistant. “Kara, I’ve been in a meeting for hours. How long have you been waiting?” Lena turns to her assistant, who is currently speechless. “Why didn’t you call me out of the meeting?” 

Kara steps between Lena and her assistant with her hands up, trying to pacify a wrathful Lena Luthor. “Lena, it’s fine. Really. I haven’t been here that long. Rachel remembered me from last time and even offered to order some food for me,” Kara says with an endearing smile because Lena doesn’t need to know that she has actually been sitting there for over an hour and that her assistant had not, in fact, offered to order Kara food while she waited, but only glared at her the whole time. 

Lena utters a quick apology to her assistant and ushers Kara into her office. “Her name isn’t Rachel - and I know you know that - but it was nice of you to try to cover for her,” Lena says with a smirk and Kara blushes at being busted. “Well, I’m done for the day. Do you want to go get food?” Kara’s wide smile at the mention of food was the only answer she needed.

“How are the little ones?” Lena finally asks once they’re seated and food has been served. It’s been a week since she last saw them at the party and she already misses them. 

“They’re good. Arlo had a full blown meltdown last night at bath time and turned into a little gremlin. Alura has been busy with the stuff you got her for her birthday,” Kara says between bites and Lena’s heart swells and she giggles at the thought of Kara struggling with a squirmy, red faced, screaming baby in a bathtub while keeping up with Alura. 

Kara squints at Lena playfully and Lena schools her features. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. That doesn’t sound fun.” 

“I’ll drop them off at your place for next bath time and see how you fare.” And Lena knows that Kara is only joking, but she can’t help the butterflies that fill and flutter about in her stomach at the involuntary image her mind conjures. It’s too domestic and too soon. It’s especially not fair to Kara, who was still so very clearly hurting. So Lena pushes the thought aside and instead refocuses on Kara. 

“Challenge accepted,” Lens says with a grin and a raised glass. “Where are they anyway?” 

Kara blushes slightly and adjusts her glasses nervously. “They’re with Sam and Alex. I just needed some time to myself. I took a taxi into the city and I started walking around and I sort of found myself a couple blocks from L-Corp, so I thought I would stop by for a visit.” Lena stops Kara’s rambling by placing her hand on Kara's arm. 

“It’s okay. I’m glad you stopped by. I needed an excuse to leave, anyway. Sam has left me buried in work.” This seems to settle Kara and Lena pulls her hand away, feeling guilty when her eye catches the glint of Kara’s wedding band. “I don’t mean to pry, so don’t answer if you don’t want to,” Kara nods so Lena continues, “have you talked with Alex?” 

Kara looks away quickly and Lena can see the straining in her neck. She’s quiet for several moments and Lena holds her breath waiting for Kara to say something. “We talked a little, yes. I apologized for how I was on Alura’s birthday.” Kara sighs and looks around the restaurant. “Let’s go for a walk and I’ll explain as much as I can.” 

They walk side by side in silence through a nearby park, Kara seemingly sucking up the sun in her green short sleeve shirt and white shorts. Lena feels extremely overdressed in her silky dark blue blouse and black pants, but internally pats herself on the back for not wearing high heels today. 

“We were on a double date with Sam and Alex when I was called away for an emergency. While I was dealing with that, Alex called me on comms and told me there was a secondary attack where they were but that they had it handled and for me to finish up where I was. She—” Kara’s jaw tightens and her voice is thick with emotions and Lena feels a lump growing in her own throat, “she promised me that Erin was safe and that she was okay. But she wasn’t and Alex knew that; the damage had already been done. Ultimately, I understand why Alex lied to me. She knew what I would do if I knew the truth. I would have abandoned everything and let the bad guy destroy National City. I’m thankful I made it back in time for her final moments, but I can’t forgive Alex for taking that choice away from me and lying to me.” 

“Kara…” Lena starts but has no idea what to say. She remembers when Sam took time off around that time to recover from some injuries after a close call, but had no idea this was why, that Kara's life had just been turned upside down. Kara wipes her eyes and Lena can tell that she’s trying to hold herself together.

Forgoing her own rule of boundaries, Lena reaches her hands up so she’s holding Kara’s face and brushes her thumbs across her cheeks. “I think it’s less about forgiving Alex and more about forgiving yourself.” 

Kara’s eyes fill with tears again and her lower lip begins to quiver as she desperately searches Lena’s own tear filled eyes. Lena watches the chaos in Kara’s eyes clear slightly, as if she’s been waiting for someone to give her permission to stop blaming herself. 

In another act of bravery, Lena drops her hands from Kara’s face and wraps them around Kara and pulls her into a hug. Kara’s head drops to the crook of Lena’s neck and she releases a deep, shuddering breath as her own arms wind around Lena. She prays that Kara is able to understand what she’s failing to say in words and Lena suddenly doesn’t know if her own tears are falling because of the pain Kara is in, and the emotional story she just shared with her, or if it’s from the feeling of relief that floods her body when she feels Kara’s arms wrap around her tightly, pulling her closer. 

Lena ignores the pang of hurt she feels when Kara begins to pull away. “Sorry for crying all over you,” Kara whispers, with an embarrassed smile.

“It’s okay,” Lena croaks out and she’s forced to swallow hard when she feels Kara’s thumbs track across her cheeks, clearing her tears, just as she had done for Kara earlier.

Kara clears her throat and looks down slightly and Lena jumps away when she realizes she’s been clutching the sides of Kara’s shirt at her waistline. “Oh! I’m sorry,” Lena hurries out and laughs awkwardly, turning her head quickly so Kara doesn’t see her cheeks burning. 

They walk back to L-Corp and when Kara finally tells Lena she should get going, Kara’s smile seems a little brighter.

* * *

With Sam being on vacation, it’s seemingly doubled her workload, and she sighs as she squeezes her eyes shut. They burn from tiredness and staring at her screen for hours. Comfortable in her pajamas, Lena has been on her couch for what feels like hours. She gets up to stretch her tired body when there’s a sudden knock at her door. Confused, she pads over to the door and finds Sam looking at her through the peephole. 

“Sam, what are you doing here so late? Are you okay?” Lena ushers her inside and sits her down on the couch. 

“Everything’s fine, Lena. I just need to talk to you,” Sam says cryptically and it sets Lena on edge. “When Kara came to pick up the kids she mentioned she had spent the afternoon with you.” It’s more of a statement than a question and it makes Lena bristle. 

Lena’s eyes narrow as she turns to face Sam. “Kara surprised me at my office and we went to lunch and then walked for a bit,” Lena bit back.

Sam sighs and looks slightly apologetic. “She asked to talk to Alex in private.” Sam rubs her hands on her thighs anxiously. “You probably figured out after the party that Kara and Alex haven’t been on the best terms. After Erin died Kara shut everyone out, especially Alex — and it nearly killed her.” 

“Kara talked about what happened,” Lena replies slowly and Sam quickly looks at Lena.

“She won’t talk about Erin with anyone, really. Usually only with Alura.” Sam eyes Lena suspiciously again and Lena stands up, her back to Sam.

“If you have something you want to say then just say it, Sam,” Lena admonishes while glaring at the woman that’s still seated. 

Sam picks at her sleeve nervously. “She’s seemed a lot lighter recently... Since you’ve come back into her life. I think it’s been good for her, being able to talk to someone that’s not involved in all this mess. I just wanted to say thank you, Lena. Kara finally came to Alex tonight and they talked about everything.” 

A soft smile lifts Lena’s lips and she feels happy knowing that Kara was attempting to repair her relationship with her sister and that maybe, just maybe, she was helping Kara more than she was helping Lena. The feeling only lasts a moment before she remembers something that’s been bothering her since Alura’s birthday party. 

Anxiousness grips Lena once more as she sits back on the couch. “Do you remember when you called me and told me Kara had been really hurt? It was almost a year after I’d moved back to Metropolis.” 

Sam nods her head with a frown. “Yes.”

Lena looks away, already feeling the shame creeping up her neck. “I went back to National City to see Kara. I had to see her with my own eyes, I needed to make sure she was okay. When I made it upstairs to the med bay—” Lena feels the lump in her throat grow, threatening to choke her as she remembers the feeling of loss and being too late as she watched Kara’s future wife lean over her as she tended to a fussy, injured Kara, both laughing. “Well, she wasn’t alone. I left without seeing her. And that was when I asked you to keep everything Kara related to yourself. It wasn’t until I saw the picture Alura carried with her that I recognized the woman.”

“Shit. Come here,” Sam says while out stretching her arms for Lena. Lena slides over and as soon as Lena’s head hits Sam’s shoulder, she feels the tears start to fall. “They weren’t together then, but it couldn’t have been much longer after that. It took Kara a long time to move on, Lena. I think she was always hopeful that you’d come back.”

“Did she make Kara happy?” 

“Yes, very much so. Erin adored Kara.” And that’s all Lena needs to know. That’s all she’s ever wanted for Kara, to be happy and loved. Jealousy courses through her veins and she hates herself for it. How can she wish it was her when Kara never would have met her wife, or had two beautiful babies? No, she’ll never say that out loud and instantly pushes it away. Kara deserved the life and love she’s had the last eight years. 

Lena pulls away and wipes her face. “Good. She deserves it.”

“You should look at this as a second chance for the both of you. You’re obviously helping her and you’ve made quite the impact on Alura, she will not stop asking about you. She’s a very curious child.” Lena smirks and bites her lip at the happiness that tingles through her. “Have you- have you and Kara talked about—”

“No,” Lena immediately cuts her off before she can ask what Lena knows Sam has been waiting, wanting to ask. “It wouldn’t be right. Kara is still grieving.” 

Sam hums in agreement.

Lena grows slightly uncomfortable at the next question she prepares to ask Sam, wary of the response she might get from Sam. “Sam? The night I helped Alex look for Kara… She asked me why I left. You didn’t tell her?” 

“You mean why didn’t I tell my wife that you had sex with her little sister and then snuck out in the middle of the night and quickly fled to the other side of the country, never to be seen again until eight years later?” Sam snorts and Lena flushes bright red. 

“Sam,” Lena warns and Sam pokes her side. 

Sam grows serious for a moment. “Lena... Why did you leave? Ignoring everything else, can you tell me why?”

Lena blows out of a puff of air as she thinks back to that turbulent night. “I don’t know, Sam. I was so fucked up back then. We had finally moved on from the Supergirl thing. We weren’t seeing each other a lot — I wasn’t ready for that yet — but I didn’t see red anymore when I looked at her. I just saw  _ my _ Kara. And I let myself get comfortable and I let her back in. That last game night I came to, I stayed after everyone left, and well, one thing led to another. She told me after that she loved me and it was everything I’d wanted for years but it felt tainted. I didn’t deserve it after everything.” Lena tries, and fails, to blink back the tears and Sam squeezes her hand as she listens, desperately trying to understand. “I woke up in the middle of the night and I watched her sleep, but all I could picture was her on the screen hovering above Mount Norquay with kryptonite missiles locked on her. I could have killed her, Sam!” 

She rips her hand out of Sam’s and stands up. It’s a nightmare she still has. Lena, failing to deactivate the missiles in time, and watching the woman she’s been in love with for over a decade be obliterated out of the sky at her hands. All the hateful things she spewed out to Kara, when she was just hurting. Kara’s cold sneer as Lena told her she was leaving National City.

Because Lena didn’t just sneak out in the middle of the night. Kara caught her, and Lena destroyed her in the process. 

_ Lena feels close to a panic attack as she slips out of Kara’s bed, picking up her trail of clothes as she walks to the living room. She slips them on as quietly as she can and sits down to write Kara a letter. Once she’s satisfied with the letter that’s surely going to break Kara’s heart, she gets up from the couch and sets it on the coffee table in front of the couch.  _

_ “Did you leave the money on the nightstand, too?” Kara jokes as she pads out of the bedroom half naked, still sleepy, and completely unaware of what’s to come.  _

_ Lena freezes and she’s terrified to turn around. She’s worried that if she sees a soft, sleepy Kara with mussed hair that Lena caused, she won’t go through with it.  _

_ “Lena? Are you okay?” Kara asks softly as she steps closer, hand coming to rest gently on her shoulder and Lena can already feel the tears coming.  _

_ She finally turns to meet Kara’s gaze and she steels herself.  _

_ “What’s wrong, Lena?” Kara asks as soon as she sees the tears in Lena’s eyes, one hand coming up to protectively cradle Lena’s face, while the other seeks out her hip to gently pull her closer. _

_ Lena takes a step back and regrets it instantly as she sees the unmistakable pain on Kara’s face. “I’m leaving, Kara.” _

_ Kara searches Lena’s eyes for a moment and she nods slowly. “Okay, that’s fine. I understand if you need—”  _

_ “No, Kara, I’m leaving National City,” she pauses, eyes squeezed shut. “I-I’m moving back to Metropolis.” _

_ Kara’s mouth opens and closes as she tries to find the words to say and she shakes her head in denial. “No. That’s not true.” _

_ Lena takes a deep breath and pushes on. “I’m sorry, Kara. I just- I think it’s for the best.” _

_ “That’s bullshit and you know it, Lena. Please stay. Stay for me. I love you. God, I love you so much and I’m sorry I didn’t realize or tell you sooner. I can’t lose you too, Lena,” Kara says through her tears.  _

_ “It’s too late. The plans have already been made and it’s been in the process for weeks. There’s nothing I can do now,” Lena says firmly and Kara recoils as if she’d been slapped.  _

_ “Weeks? Did Sam know?” And realization slowly dawns on Kara’s face and Lena’s heart shatters. “Is that why you brought Sam back here? Lena, that was months ago! You’ve known for almost three months!” Anger and sheer heartbreak set in on Kara’s face and unable to stop herself, Lena gingerly reaches for Kara’s hands, but Kara yanks herself away. She walks back toward her bedroom and suddenly stops while pointing toward her bed.  _

_ “Why did you sleep with me then, huh? You’ve known for months you were leaving and you decide to fuck me the night you leave? Do I mean that little to you?” Kara angrily wipes at her face as the stubborn tears keep falling, and Lena hates herself for doing this to her.  _

_ Lena’s never been afraid of Kara, even after she found out she was Supergirl. And just a few hours ago when Kara had Lena pinned to her mattress and could have easily snapped her wrists, Lena wasn’t afraid. She knew realistically that Kara would, or could, never hurt her. But she knew that Kara wielded the power to inflict the kind of emotional hurt that would surely never leave her . Kara has a wild look in her eyes as she stalks back over to where Lena stands, until they’re nose to nose.  _

_ Kara takes a deep breath to center herself and then she rests her forehead against Lena’s with her eyes closed. “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared, too. But I know you love me. Even if you didn’t say it out loud, I could feel it. I felt it in the way you kissed me, the way you touched me, and the way you said my name. If you need more time, I can give it to you. I’ll do anything, Lena. Just please don’t give up. Don’t give up on this. Don’t give up on us.”  _

_ Lena almost loses all resolve at the sound of Kara’s pleading voice, but she forces herself to think of Kara’s face behind a wall of ice with sickly green lines all over her face. She remembers the sick feeling she had when she used the watch to get Kara to come to her apartment, knowing Alex could have potentially been hurt at the DEO. She thinks of Kara being shot out of the sky with kryptonite missiles by her own hand.  _

_ “Kara,” Lena says finally. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be. I was weak and made a mistake and we shouldn’t have done this. It’s just making it more difficult.” _

_ Kara stiffens and pulls away, all fight gone from her as she interprets Lena’s words to mean that Lena regrets being with her. And Lena lets her. She looks down at the floor and slowly nods her head. Kara kisses her forehead sweetly, reverently, and turns her back to Lena as she walks back to her room. Before she makes it to the room, she turns to look at Lena for a final time, to soak her in, to remember everything about her. “I love you, Lena, and a part of me always will. I hope you find someone you’ll allow yourself to be happy with. Good luck in Metropolis,” Kara says honestly. Lena stares into Kara’s blue eyes for a moment longer until Kara turns her back to Lena again and walks into her room.  _

_ Lena nearly breaks again when she hears Kara collapse onto her bed, trying to stifle her sobs, so Lena won’t hear her break down. Lena covers her mouth, trying in vain to cover her own. She stands broken and alone in Kara’s living room and looks around the place she’s grown to love and feel safe in. She sees the letter she wrote to Kara, detailing her feelings, that she’s in love with Kara, and explaining why she’s leaving National City.  _

_ And in a final act of self sabotage and a hasty decision that seals their fate, Lena snatches up the letter and throws it in her purse. On shaky legs, she walks to Kara’s front door and after one final look at the apartment around her, she walks out and gently closes the door behind her. _

_ As the months dwindle on, Lena receives less and less phone calls and text messages.  _

_ She ignores them all.  _

_ Until finally they stopped all together.  _

“...Lena? Are you okay?” When Lena opens her eyes, Sam is standing over her, her palm warm on her cheek. She looks down and realizes she’s now on her back lying down on the couch. 

“What happened?” Lena asks as she tries to sit up, but is forcefully pushed back down by Sam. 

“I don’t know. One minute you were yelling and the next you were totally zoning out.” 

Lena swats away Sam’s hands and sits up. “I’m fine. I just got caught up in my own head. You should go home to your wife, Sam. I feel better and we can talk later,” Lena says as she puts on her most reassuring smile.

“You’re not fooling me with that fake smile shit,” Sam says while rolling her eyes. “But I do need to go. Please call me if you need anything?” Sam gives Lena a tight hug and gathers her belongings. 

“Can you come over for dinner tomorrow? Say 6pm?” Sam asks casually and Lena internally groans. She’s so behind on her work.

“Sure. I should be wrapped up with all your work by then,” Lena says with a smirk and Sam just grins. 

“Great!  _ Karaandthekidsarecomingtoo _ , okay bye!” Sam says quickly and hurries out the door before Lena can chuck a pillow at her face. 

Lena replays Sam’s words in her head over and over. A second chance. A second chance. A second chance.

It gives Lena hope. She knows not now. Definitely not now. But maybe someday. Until then, Lena was just happy to have Kara back in her life - no matter what capacity. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading. This chapter will pave the way for the future chapters and I’m so excited! 
> 
> Both of them have made mistakes and they’re going to learn from them soon. It’ll be worth it. :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter Five

Lena’s late. So late she knows she’s definitely missed dinner. She had called Sam earlier to let her know that she was going to be late, but Sam had insisted that she come anyway, no matter how late she was going to be. 

When Alex opens the front door she’s slightly out of breath and chuckling. “Hello, Lena. Come on in. Sam and Kara are upstairs putting the kids to bed, but they should be down in a few minutes.” 

Lena follows Alex to a living room and is prompted to sit down. “Can I get you something to drink? We don’t have any liquor, just beer and wine.”

Lena shakes her head. “Can I just have some water, please?” Lena asks and Alex nods and sets off for the kitchen and returns with a glass of water. 

They lapse into silence and Lena struggles with finding something to say. She hasn’t been alone with Alex since the night Alex came to her looking for help with finding Kara, hasn’t seen her since the night of Alura’s birthday party when she fell to the floor in a sobbing mess. It’s awkward, but Alex still smiles kindly at her every time they make eye contact. 

Lena looks around the room and takes in her surroundings. “This is a nice place,” Lena says and she grits her teeth at her poor choice of conversation. 

“This is the place we usually reserve when we come to visit. It’s halfway between Clark and Erin’s parents, which has always been perfect.” 

Lena had realized that this house was close to the Kent’s and figured it was probably intentional. The other information is new, and Lena stores it away in the folder of new things she’s learning about Kara and her life. She nods in response and is thankful that Alex seems content to sit in silence until they both hear creaking stairs. 

It’s Kara that comes down first, dressed in an old, loose Cornell University shirt and comfy pajama pants. Her hair is up in a loose bun and she seems almost surprised by Lena’s presence as she falters on the last step. 

Kara doesn’t say anything and just bypasses the living room completely and goes straight to the kitchen. Lena notes the worried look on Alex’s face and Lena instantly regrets coming in the first place. Before she can dwell on the matter too long, Kara is returning with two bowls. 

“Sam said you’d be late and I know you probably haven’t eaten yet,” Kara says with a smile and hands Lena a warm bowl of some sort of pasta. 

“Thank you,” Lena says and hopes the relief she feels that Kara isn’t upset with her isn’t too obvious. 

Kara sits on the opposite end of the couch with her own bowl and crosses her legs. They eat in silence as Alex browses Netflix for a movie to watch. Kara eats her food uncharacteristically slowly as she stares in the direction of the TV. She seems to be somewhere else as she pushes her pasta around with her fork. 

Alex inhales loudly and opens her mouth to say something, but stops when there’s another creaking of the steps and then Sam is standing there with a slight frown on her face as she looks at Kara. There’s a tense silence that follows and then Sam suddenly plops down on Lena’s lap and kisses her on the cheek. 

“Thanks for coming, Lena. The kids were bummed they missed you.”

Lena feels a pang at the thought of disappointing them. “I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to them. Now get off, you have a bony ass,” Lena says with a shove and Sam scoffs.

“Awh, babe, you can come sit on me,” Alex jokes and Sam slides off her lap and walks to the loveseat that her wife is on and sits beside her. Lena and Kara watch as the happy married couple share a kiss until Kara clears her throat awkwardly when it gets a little too heated. 

“So, what movie are we watching?” Kara asks and Sam smirks at both Kara and Lena while a quick ‘sorry.’ They select a random comedy and everyone settles in. 

Lena, now sleepy with a belly full of warm pasta, slides down the couch so that she can rest her head on the arm rest. The couch is long enough that with Kara curled up at the other end, there’s still a whole cushion between them. She glances over and notices Kara is still only half focusing on the movie, a look of concern and sadness very obvious on her face. She looks at Sam and Alex cuddling on the other couch, both fast asleep. 

She tries to focus back on the movie but finds her attention being pulled by thoughts of Kara. What was going on with Kara? What was going on inside her head? Lena sighs softly and then tucks her head deeper into the arm of the couch, determined to focus on the movie. 

* * *

Lena has no memory of falling asleep and when she feels the grogginess slowly slip away, she’s slightly startled by her seemingly unknown surroundings. Once her heart rate settles back down and her eyes adjust to the darkness, her memory slowly begins to fill in the blanks. She feels stiff from sleeping in her crisp button up and slacks and she notices she has a blanket draped over.

She sits up on an elbow and sees a soft light filtering in from the kitchen and hears soft murmuring. Lena throws the blanket back and walks into the kitchen and discovers Kara holding Arlo, gently rocking him back and forth and speaking to him softly.

“Hey,” Lena says quietly as she walks farther into the kitchen, arms crossed as she tries to fight off the nighttime chill. Kara turns quickly and smiles apologetically. 

“Hello. I’m sorry if we woke you. We can go back upstairs,” Kara says and Lena waves her off. 

Lena glances at the time on the microwave. “It’s okay. Waking up at 3 in the morning is pretty normal for me. Go sit on the couch and I’ll fix us some tea,” Lena says and Kara hesitates for a moment, bottom lip between her teeth, and then she finally nods and makes her way to the living room. 

When Lena returns with the tea, Kara smiles her thanks and Lena sits down on the opposite end of the couch. 

“When did everyone go upstairs?” Lena asks.

“After the movie. The three of you barely made it through the halfway mark,” Kara smirks. “You must have been pretty tired. 

Lena shrugs. “I didn’t get much sleep the night before and then I had an extra long day at work.”

Kara just nods and Lena remembers a time when Kara would have lectured her about getting enough sleep and working too much. 

Arlo lets out an angry cry and Kara adjusts him so that he’s sitting on her lap facing Lena and she gently bounces him. He gives Lena a gummy smile and Lena’s heart flutters.

“You know, you should really let your mom sleep,” Lena says and the baby giggles and flails his arms. 

“Thanks for trying,” Kara sighs but smiles anyway at the stubborn baby. 

Lena can tell Kara is exhausted. It’s evident in her eyes and she can hear it in her voice every time she talks. Lena watches as Kara’s head falls to the back of the couch and her blinking eyes stay closed for longer and longer as she slowly falls asleep. Arlo is still sitting upright babbling nonsense and Lena slides closer to grab a hold of him. 

It becomes clear very quickly that even in a state of sleep, Kara keeps a protective death grip around her son. After some difficult wiggling and pulling, Lena is able to get a hold of Arlo and places him on her lap.

“Kara?” Lena says gently and Kara jerks her head, clearly startled. Lena is now holding Arlo, who is still no closer to sleep based on his happy babbling. “Sleep, Kara. I’ll watch him.” 

“Are you sure?” Kara slurs as she sits up straighter. 

“Yes. I’ll wake you if we need anything. We’ll be right here,” Lena assures her and this seems to be the only and final reassurance Kara needs because she finally relaxes. She lies back on the couch and uses the blanket that Lena was previously using and falls asleep instantly. 

Lena slides down to the opposite end of the couch, the back of her shoulders resting on the arm rest and her knees bent. It creates the perfect spot for Arlo to rest comfortably on her chest with the top of his head under Lena’s chin. She can feel his little body fighting sleep so she hums softly and rubs his back. When she finally feels his little puffs of air against her collarbone, she smiles to herself and with her one free hand begins responding to emails on her phone. 

A few hours later when Sam descends the stairs, she finds all three of them just like that. Lena looks up and greets Sam with a smile. “I’m not even going to ask,” Sam says with a shake of her head but smiles nonetheless. 

Arlo whimpers softly as he begins to wake up and Lena sits up gently and walks to the kitchen with him. Sam is already working on a bottle for him when they sit down at the table. “I’m going to take him upstairs to get him changed and when we get back you can feed him,” Sam says and Lena nods, handing Arlo off to Sam. 

Lena feels nervous about what Sam might say or ask about what she saw this morning, but it’s a small blessing that it was Sam and not Alex. 

She sips her coffee greedily while she waits for Sam and Arlo to return. She tries, and fails, to avoid sneaking glances over at a sleeping Kara. At some point in the night, Kara kicked the blanket down to her waist. She has one hand resting on her stomach while her other arm is thrown above her head haphazardly. Lena is in a trance as she watches the steady rise and fall of Kara’s chest until she hears the stairs creaking, indicating that Sam is on her way back down. 

Sam hands Arlo over to Lena and she settles him down in her arms. He seems to fuss slightly, anxious to be fed, and Lena obliges quickly before he can really start crying. Lena stares at him in awe and giggles when she notices the prominent crinkle that she’s seen so many times. “He’s so serious when he’s eating,” Lena laughs and Sam turns briefly from her position at the coffee pot and smiles over her shoulder. 

Lena traces her thumb across the crinkle and follows the line of his brow. The crinkle immediately smooths out and Lena has to bite back a gasp when he opens his eyes and stares at her with a startling look of intensity and shakily grasps onto Lena’s pinky. 

She feels little flutters in her chest as she looks at the baby that has spent the last few hours sleeping on her chest. 

“Scary isn’t it? Holding something so little and vulnerable in your arms?” Kara says while standing just a few feet away. “And they just trust you’re going to always be there, to always take care of them. It’s amazing.” 

Lena looks up at Kara and recognizes the telltale signs of emotion. She can see it in her misty eyes and hears it in her shaky voice. Kara steps closer and bends down so she can kiss Arlo’s forehead, who is still being cradled in Lena’s arms. Kara’s hair cascades in front of Lena’s face like a curtain and Lena is surrounded by Kara’s familiar scent, and Lena finds it comforting.

“Thanks for watching him, Lena,” Kara murmurs slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t think I was going to pass out like that.” 

Lena shakes her head to tell Kara it wasn’t a bother. “You needed the rest. We had fun, didn't we?” Lena says as she gently jostles the little one in her arms and he smiles. “We were just wrapping up Newton’s Laws of Motions when he finally fell asleep. He’s an expert on the first and second laws of motion,” Lena jokes.

Kara snorts as she smiles down at both of them. “I’m surprised he managed to make it through the first two,” Kara says with a delighted laugh. 

Lena rolls her eyes, only partially offended, but mostly happy that Kara is in better spirits this morning. She tears her eyes away from Kara just in time to see an adorable sleepy Alura walking into the kitchen behind Kara. Kara must hear her little bare feet padding on the wooden floor because she turns around and crouches down so she’s at eye level with the little girl.

Alura has kept her eyes down the whole time as her fist rubs at her sleepy eyes blearily. When she glances up and sees her mom, her lower lip begins to quiver and she launches into her arms in search of comfort. 

Lena watches on in confusion but then she hears the little girl apologizing through her cries. She briefly wonders if this has something to do with Kara’s strange behavior last night, and it’s only confirmed when she’s Sam smiling sympathetically. 

Kara abruptly stands with the little girl still wrapped in her arms. “Would you two mind watching him for a bit longer?” Kara asks gently while cradling the still crying girl to her neck. 

Lena and Sam nod and they watch as the mother-daughter duo disappear out a pair of French doors that Lena can only assume leads to a backyard. 

Sam takes Arlo once his bottle is finished and begins to pat his back. “He’s a little unpredictable when it comes to spitting up,” Sam explains. 

Lena thinks about it and decides she really wouldn’t have minded all that much. 

Sam and Lena are in the middle of a discussion about the latest happenings at L-Corp when the door is flung open and an energetic Alura comes running into the house. She skids to a stop at Lena’s side.

“Hi,” Alura says with a shy smile. Her hair is an adorable mess and Lena is unable to stop her hand from resting on the top of her head, fingers running through the messy curls. 

“Good morning,” Lena returns.

“Are you coming to the zoo with us?” Alura asks, full of excitement. 

Lena freezes, not wanting to break her heart. “Hmm, I’m not sure. I might have to stop by my office a little later,” Lena explains. 

Alura seems to think about this for a moment and then nods her head quickly, curls bouncing. “Should I wear my pink dress or my blue Frozen shirt?” 

Lena tilts her head and squints her eyes as she pretends to think about it hard. “Definitely Frozen.” It was clear at the birthday party, that the girl has a Frozen obsession. 

“That’s what I thought too,” Alura says seriously. “I need to go get dressed. I hope you come with us.” 

Lena watches her run away until she’s out of sight. She chuckles when she hears a loud thump on the stairs and then a distinct, “I’m okay!” 

“I’m going to get this little guy ready. We aren’t going to the zoo with them,” Sam says and then she’s off too.

Lena stands up and stretches and sees Kara still standing outside. She prepares a cup of coffee for Kara and walks outside to meet Kara on the deck. 

“Coffee?” Lena asks gently as she slides the warm mug across the wooden railing that Kara is leaning on. 

“Mmm, it’s perfect. Thank you,” Kara says gratefully as she takes her first sip. 

“I couldn’t remember the exact sugar-creamer-coffee ratio, but I figured after an ungodly amount of pouring it should get your stamp of approval,” Lena replies, watching Kara out of the corner of her eye. 

They lapse into silence as Kara drinks her coffee and Lena watches the birds flit about in the early morning sunshine. Kara begins to absently run her finger around the top of the mug, crinkle ever so present, and Lena wonders what’s on her mind. 

“Alura has been struggling with bedtime. Bedtime was always our thing. So as you can imagine, it’s been hard for her. Last night was—” Kara stops and then sighs. “She just misses her mom.” 

Lena sympathizes with the little girl that’s currently upstairs getting dressed in a flurry. Lena was Alura’s current age when she lost her own mother, but Lena is nothing but confident that Alura will get through it with the help of Kara. 

“You’ll get through this together,” Lena assures.

“Well!” Kara exclaims, standing up straight and turning to face Lena, a smile on her face. “It’s zoo day. Would you like to join us? It’ll just be me and the kids.”

All of the reasons Lena had for saying no quickly disappear at the sight of Kara’s easygoing, hopeful smile. 

Lena rolls her eyes and bites back a smile. “Okay. I would love to join you. I do, however, need to go home first. I need to get out of yesterday’s clothes and I need a hot shower.”

Kara’s smile grows, eyes shiny with laughter, a sight Lena will never grow tired of. 

They decide to meet at the zoo at 9:30 and it gives Lena just enough time to get home, shower, and make herself look presentable. 

Lena opts to call for a driver and after being dropped off, she almost immediately sees Kara sitting on a bench, baby stroller in front of her, while she watches Alura.

It’s actually Alura that looks up and notices her first. “Lena!” Alura screams and then she’s running at Lena full speed and catapulting herself into Lena’s arms. She’s able to catch Alura just in time and they both laugh together.

“You just really love throwing yourself around, don’t you?” Lena teases as she adjusts the blonde little girl so she’s resting on her right hip. 

Lena strolls over to where Kara is, just as she’s beginning to stand up from the bench, and Lena's stomach rolls at the sight of Kara grinning at her. 

“Hey. I already have the tickets so we can go on in,” Kara says as she points toward the entrance. “I thought Lu here was going to storm the gates if she had to wait any longer.” 

Lena begins to feel the strain in her arms from holding Alura so she puts her down. Alura immediately takes her hand while Kara pushes the stroller and they all walk into the zoo together. 

It becomes quite clear that Alura seems to know her way around the zoo and insists there’s a very specific order they have to navigate the zoo to ensure the best experience. Lena is surprised by how much she knows about the animals and the random facts she spits out as they walk hand in hand. 

Even more surprising is how many employees stop to greet Kara and Alura like they’ve been there hundreds of times. Lena notices that Alura seems to be familiar with all of them, even knowing who to expect in each exhibit before even getting there. 

After a couple hours they decide to take a break on a grassy hillside. Kara and Lena share a blanket with Arlo while watching Alura playing with a little boy her age.

“Hey, Kara?” Lena asks tentatively. Kara hums in response indicating for Lena to go ahead, eyes still trained on Alura. “How many times have you been here?” 

Kara snaps her head toward Lena and looks at her with surprise. 

“I was just wondering because it’s obvious you and Alura are popular with the staff,” Lena finishes quickly and she feels her cheeks begin to pink up from embarrassment. 

Kara clears her throat and turns her gaze toward Arlo, who is laying on his back along Lena’s thighs. 

“My father in law worked here as a vet and Erin worked here during her summers at home while she was in college. After she graduated vet school, she worked here for a couple years before moving to National City,” Kara explains and she pauses to smile at Alura who is now chasing after some sort of bug. “So we’ve been here quite a few times. More times than I could probably count.”

Lena watches Kara carefully while she shares this new information, and she tries to avoid thinking about just how many times Kara has been in Metropolis. It’s not Kara’s fault and it’s not fair to think that way. Lena’s worried that maybe talking about her late wife will trigger Kara’s bouts of sadness, and that maybe she’ll begin to shut down again, but instead she says it easily and continues to smile at the things going on around her. 

After that they wrap up their lunch break and continue to explore the zoo. Lena has to admit that zoos never really appealed to her. The smells, the crowds of people, even the animals. But Alura’s glee is contagious and Lena finds that she’s genuinely enjoying herself. 

Lena and Kara take turns on who pushes the stroller and who gets to try to wrangle a hyped up Alura and as she watches Kara lift Alura and put her on her shoulders so the little girl can get a better look at a sea turtle swimming above their heads, Lena is overcome with emotions. 

Familiar dark thoughts begin to eke back to the forefront of her mind. Thoughts about the past, memories, and the horrid what-ifs that have been plaguing Lena for weeks now. She shakes her head to clear away the torturous thoughts and manages to take a quick photo of the two, blue tinged faces full of wonder, awe, and love. 

Kara turns toward Lena at the end of the underwater tunnel, probably to see if Lena heard Alura’s entertaining commentary on some of the fish, and the smile slowly slides off Kara’s face. 

“You okay?” Kara hesitates, a look of concern replacing the laughter that was just previously there. 

“Yes,” Lena lies. “Sorry, I just got lost in my head for a moment,” Lena says with closed eyes and an embarrassed shake of her head. 

When Lena opens her eyes, Kara is no longer looking at her, but instead looking down. She follows her line of sight and it lands on her own hands that are gripping onto the stroller handlebar, knuckles white from the pressure. 

Ignoring the ache, Lena loosens her grip and meets Kara’s gaze again. “I’m okay,” Lena assures, voice more confident this time. 

Kara chews the inside of her lip for a moment as she weighs her options. She finally nods and they continue on through the rest of the aquarium. Neither of them acknowledge the fact that Kara now stands a little closer to Lena, or that her smiles are a little softer, her looks lingering a little longer. 

By 4 o’clock, Alura has slowed down considerably and it’s quite clear to both women that she is dead tired, so they decide to leave a little early.

“Did you drive?” Kara asks as they approach the exit. 

“Not today. I just need to text my driver to let him know I’m leaving,” Lena explains as she pulls her phone out of her purse. 

“Wait,” Kara hesitates and Lena looks up to meet her gaze. “We can just take you. We have to drive through the city anyway.” 

Lena ends up accepting, the selfish part of her not wanting to part ways with the family of three quite yet. 

They’re not too far from Lena’s apartment when Arlo decides to start wailing, which then turns into Alura becoming fussy as well. Lena watches as Kara’s leg begins to bounce with anxiety and helplessness as both children refuse to be soothed by her smooth voice. 

“You can come up, Kara,” Lena suggests as she watches Kara grip the steering wheel a little too tightly. 

Kara exhales. “Thanks. I have no idea what’s gotten into them.” 

Alura is fast asleep as Lena carries her to the guest room, Kara following close behind with Arlo. Lena gently lays the little girl on the bed and pulls the light throw blanket off the end of the bed and covers her with it. 

She allows herself a moment to watch the steady rise and fall of Alura’s chest, and Lena is reminded of earlier this morning as she sneaked peaks of Kara sleeping peacefully. 

Lena’s chest tightens as an unfamiliar, yet familiar, feeling sweeps across her body. It was inevitable, really. That Lena would fall in love with the energetic four year old who reminded Lena so much of Kara, and the baby boy that fell asleep on her chest earlier that morning. 

“Sweet dreams,” Lena whispers as she gently brushes blonde hair back and out of her face. 

Kara is looking at Lena when she turns around and Lena’s knees suddenly feel weak and her heart begins to race. The look lingers for a moment and then Kara gives her a crooked smile.

“I’m going to get Arlo all taken care of and then I’ll meet you out there,” Kara says smiling brightly, all previous seriousness gone. 

“See you soon,” Lena replies and after a final look at Alura, she sidesteps Kara and closes the door behind her. 


	6. Chapter Six

Lena leans against the door — hand twitching over her chest — as she tries to calm her racing heart. After a deep breath she pushes off the door gently and makes her way to the kitchen, set on preparing some tea, needing a familiar routine to settle her nerves. 

She’s just finished pouring herself a cup when she hears a door click quietly down the hallway and she looks up in time to see Kara walking gingerly toward her, Arlo seemingly asleep in a football hold. 

Kara points with her free hand toward the couch and Lena nods and quickly pours a second cup for Kara. Kara lays Arlo down on the cushions between them and she smiles up at Lena gratefully when Lena hands her a cup of tea. 

“He went out without much of a fight, and I didn’t even have to torture him with science facts to do it,” Kara says with a grin. 

Lena rolls her eyes and bites back her own smile at Kara’s teasing tone. 

“And thanks for letting us come up,” Kara says quickly. “Alura should be up in less than two hours. I hope that’s okay.” 

Lena waves her off, sensing Kara’s nerves. “That’s totally fine. I don’t have any other plans.” 

Kara grows serious for a moment as she looks from Arlo and then back to Lena. “Thanks for spending the day with us. It was nice to get away for a day.”

“Thanks for having me. It was nice to get out of the office and there was even the added benefit of spending time with your littles,” Lena says with a smile and gestures toward the sleeping baby in front of her. 

Kara laughs and then lifts her knees to her chest, arms wrapping around them. Lena watches as Kara reaches out and gently traces down his cheek with the back of her index finger. It’s such a sweet moment, one that Lena feels she shouldn’t be privy to. 

“So what do you usually do on the weekends off?” Kara asks suddenly.

“I wouldn’t want to bore you,” Lena says with a laugh and scrunches up her nose. 

It’s Kara’s turn to roll her eyes and shake her head. She stands up and stretches and turns back toward Lena. “It’s okay. I imagine the answer hasn’t changed much over the years,” Kara teases. She approaches Lena’s fireplace, looking at the photo frames that line the fireplace mantel. “Do you mind if I look?” Kara asks, not wanting to be nosy. 

“Of course not,” Lena says as she gets off the couch to stand beside Kara. “They’re mostly from a sabbatical I took,” Lena explains as she crosses her arms over her chest. 

Kara stops for a moment and looks at Lena curiously. “Really? How was it?” 

Lena inhales deeply and holds it as she thinks about it, about how much she wants to share with Kara. “Honestly? It was life changing,” Lena says on the exhale. “I spent a year living off the grid while I traveled the world.” 

Kara smiles sweetly at Lena. “You seem lighter. Less burdened. It was obvious as soon as I saw you at the store—” Kara says and then squeezes her eyes shut in embarrassment. “I mean that’s not exactly something one comments on after running into someone after eight years.” 

Lena laughs at Kara’s stammering and puts her hand on Kara’s arm. “It’s okay, Kara. I understand what you mean. I guess you could say I am less burdened. Therapy and a soul searching sabbatical will do that for a person,” Lena says, trying to keep her tone light. 

They turn back to the photos and Lena shares some of the stories behind them, also sharing all the places she traveled to. Lena’s nerves grow as they approach the last few photos. In these photos she’s no longer alone, having found a travel companion. 

The photos are innocent enough, they look like old friends — arms tossed around each other’s shoulders, smiles large and bright. One wouldn’t be able to tell that Lena, still trying to heal her self-inflicted heartbreak, had embarked on a sexual journey with this woman. That it’s something that still happens when Charlie visits Metropolis. 

Lena hurries over the last couple photos, hands gesticulating wildly. Kara’s eyes scan over the photos and then she turns to Lena, a slight smile on her face. “That sounds amazing,” is all Kara says, even though her eyes linger on the last photos in curiosity. 

They both sit back down on the couch, still separated by a sleeping Arlo. Lena watches as he breathes deeply and grins when she hears a faint snore. 

“Ask it,” Kara says suddenly, startling Lena. 

Lena’s head jerks up and finds Kara smiling at her. “What?” Lena asks.

“Ask me whatever it is you want to ask,” Kara rolls her eyes when Lena’s eyebrows raise in confusion. “You have your thinking face on.” Kara tilts her head slightly, a silly grin on her face and Lena’s heart stutters at the sight. 

“Oh. I guess I was just thinking about powers and whatnot. Do you know when they’ll start exhibiting powers, or if they even will?” 

“I’m not sure. Clark’s kids are older and so far they haven’t shown any signs yet,” Kara answers thoughtfully. 

“Does Alura know that you’re Supergirl?” Lena asks and confusion flickers across Kara’s features for a moment.

Kara shakes her head. “No, we had agreed she’s too young to really understand what that means and why she can’t tell anyone. The older kids know about some of the powers, but not all of it.”

Lena nods as she thinks about her next question. “Did you go offworld when you had them like Clark and Lois did?” 

“Yes, they were both born on Argo. We were gone for about 6 months with Alura, three months before she was born and three after,” Kara says as she begins to fiddle with her fingers. “I took Alura to Argo after Erin passed away and we stayed until Arlo was two months. And now here we are,” Kara finishes with a sigh. 

Lena tries to keep the pity off her face, but her heart breaks all over again for Kara and the things she’s gone through in the last year. She can’t imagine the pain Kara endured in losing her wife and then having to go through an entire pregnancy alone, on top of dealing with a toddler. 

“So you haven’t been back to National City?” Lena asks, slightly surprised. She hadn’t realized that Kara had been gone for so long. 

Kara chews on her lower lip as she works up to her answer. “No,” Kara says, voice raspy. “Do you remember the night of the party — right before the cake came out? Alura wanted that specific picture, but it was still in her room in National City and she was refusing to come out until she had it. She wasn’t cooperating with Clark, and I heard her crying, which is why I went inside. Clark flew to National City to get it. That’s why it took so long.” 

And then it all clicks into place for Lena. Why Kara so quickly went inside. Why Clark returned to the yard to get Lois for the cake. Why Kara came out much later with a red faced, teary eyed Alura after Clark returned. 

“She’s an amazing kid, Kara. There wasn’t a single person today that didn’t melt on the spot at the sight of her,” Lena says, bowing her head to meet Kara’s eyes. 

Kara smiles, just like she always does when it comes to her kids. “Yeah. That’s the bit of Erin in her. It’s a blessing and a curse,” she says sadly. 

Arlo begins to slowly squirm awake and Kara recovers quickly from her momentary sadness. Lena’s heart warms as she watches Kara lean closer and coo at the waking baby with a big, warm smile on her face. Arlo smiles and reaches for her with a squeal.

Kara picks him up and turns him so he’s leaning against her torso and facing out toward Lena. He startles when he looks up at Lena and he stares at her intently. It reminds Lena of earlier this morning and she finds herself unable to look away. 

“Awh, Arlo, do you want to go see Lena?” Kara laughs as she looks between the two. Kara slides closer to Lena and when Lena nods, Kara sets him on her lap. His brows furrow deeper as he stares up at Lena. “He likes you. He’s just a deep thinker.”

Lena feels laughter bubble out of her throat at the absurd look of concentration on Arlo’s face. She bends her knees so that he can sit on her lap and lean back against her legs. “I don’t know, Kara. He looks horrified.”

As soon as Lena speaks, Arlo startles back again, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Lena cringes at the thought that he might start crying, but instead he smiles at Lena and lets out a high pitched squeal. 

“He’s still learning to recognize you, but it looks like he enjoys listening to you talk,” Kara explains, eyes twinkling as she smiles at Arlo. 

Lena’s heart skips a beat at that and she clears her throat. “Well, that’s sweet. Maybe he’s just rapt after his physics lesson this morning,” Lena says as she turns to Kara with an arched brow and a playful grin. Kara’s face wrinkles in disgust and she shakes her head. 

They sit in silence for a while, both women’s attention on the happy little boy still in Lena’s lap. Kara then sits back and turns her head toward the room.

“Alura’s up.”

“Should I get her anything?” Lena asks, unsure if the little girl will need or want anything once she comes out.

“No, that’s okay. I have some stuff in the diaper bag. She knows to come out when she’s ready,” Kara says.

They hear the door click open and both turn to greet Alura. Lena has to stifle a laugh as the little girl walks toward them, face red with sleep and lines across her face from the pillow.

“Hi, baby,” Kara says softly as Alura climbs into her lap wordlessly. Kara wraps her arms around her daughter and kisses the top of her head. “Feeling better?” 

Alura nods her head and then she turns her head to face Lena. “Hi, Lena,” Alura says with a shy smile. 

“Hello, Alura,” Lena says with a smile as she reaches over to give her foot a little squeeze. “Did you sleep okay?” 

“Yes. That’s the comfiest bed I’ve ever slept on. It was like sleeping on a cloud!” Alura exclaims happily. Both of the older women laugh at the little girl's excitement. 

“Are you hungry? I have some snacks in the diaper bag,” Kara asks. Alura nods quickly and Kara lifts her off her lap and sets her beside Lena. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” 

Alura looks around the apartment once Kara disappears in the hallway. “Is this your house?”

“Yep. What do you think?” 

Alura clumsily slides off the couch and walks toward the windows that overlook the city. “Wow. You live really high up,” Alura says in wonder.

Lena watches as her attention goes from the view at windows to the glass chess set she has on a side table along the windows. 

“What’s this?” Alura asks, head tilted as she points to the board. 

Lena gets up and sits on the floor beside Alura and the table and puts Arlo on the floor between her legs. “It’s called chess. It’s a game of sorts.”

“This is a game?” Alura asks, brows knitted together in confusion. 

Lena smiles softly at Alura’s reaction. “Yes. It’s a game on strategy. I learned to play when I was your age, but it can be a bit boring.” 

“You were four when you learned to play?” Alura asks incredulously, her blue eyes wide as she looks up at Lena. 

Lena hums, lost in the memory of Lex teaching her to play. “Yep. My brother taught me the game. I eventually beat him, too,” Lena says as she pokes Alura in the belly, the tension in Lena at the thought of Lex leaves her body at Alura’s giggle. 

“You have a brother?” Aluraeventually asks as she drops to her knees after grabbing a couple pieces from the board. 

“Yes. An older brother.”

“Does he live here?” Alura asks innocently, not looking at Lena as she plays with the chess pieces. God, if Lex could see it now. Lena smirks at the thought of Lex rolling in the grave at a half-Kryptonian child playing with the family heirloom chess set. 

“No. He’s been gone a very long time,” Lena says, her voice sounding far away to herself. 

Alura’s head jerks up suddenly and she looks at Lena seriously. “I’m sorry. My mommy is gone, too.” 

Lena’s chest tightens at the little girl who is trying to comfort her by letting her know she’s not alone in her loss. So Lena does the best she can at reciprocating the comfort and reaches across to Alura and gently tucks a stray curl behind her ear, smiling softly down at her. “I know. I’m sorry, too.” 

Alura goes back to playing and Lena watches her with a tender smile. 

Lena’s skin begins to crawl and she knows she’s being watched. She looks up toward the hallway to see Kara standing there watching them, diaper bag dangling at her side. Lena knows by the look on her face that she's been standing there for a while, long enough to hear their conversation even without super hearing. 

Kara doesn’t break eye contact, even after she knows she’s been caught, and Lena feels the air get caught in her throat. Kara seems just as stuck, her shoulders squared and jaw set. She then visibly inhales and looks down at the floor. When she meets Lena’s gaze again she doesn’t look so conflicted or apprehensive. When Kara begins to walk their direction, Lena releases the breath she didn’t know she was holding and the knots in her stomach loosen. 

Kara sits on the floor in front of Lena and briefly smiles before she reaches into the bag and pulls out some crackers for Alura to snack on. 

With Alura distracted by her crackers a few feet away from them, Lena nudges Kara’s leg with her foot. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I didn’t mean to listen in,” Kara says and Lena is relieved that the whole issue is that Kara’s embarrassed she was caught. 

“That’s fine. I hope I didn’t overstep,” Lena says quickly. 

“You didn’t,” Kara dismisses her concern with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand. Things return to normal after that and before long Kara is answering her phone. 

“It’s Alex. She’s probably wondering where we are,” Kara says before she answers it. 

Kara explains they’re at Lena’s apartment and that they’ll be leaving soon. Lena’s stomach sinks to her feet at that. 

After she disconnects the call, Kara sighs and looks at Lena with a sad smile. “We should get going. Thank you for coming with us today,” Kara says and then she glances at Alura playing with the chess pieces. “Come on, kiddo. We’re leaving, Aunt Alex said dinner will be ready soon.” 

Alura perks up at the talk of food and from there it’s easy to round everything up. Lena walks with the family down to the parking garage, Alura’s hand in her own. She helps the little girl get buckled in while Kara secures Arlo. 

“Are you coming with us?” Alura asks once Lena’s finished. 

“No, I’m afraid not. I have to stay here and catch up on some work.” Alura crosses her arms and an angry pout makes its way to her face and Lena quickly tickles her to bring back a smile. “I’ll see about seeing you soon, okay?” Lena pauses and remembers something. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a business card, thanking herself for never going anywhere without extra business cards. She hands it to Alura. “Here. This is my business card. If you ever want to talk, and your mom says it’s okay, you can call me whenever you want.”

Alura’s face lights up and she throws her arms around Lena’s neck. “Thanks for coming with us today,” Alura says into her neck. 

Lena brushes off the emotions that she feels and hugs Alura back. “Thanks for inviting me. I had fun too,” she says with a wink, causing Alura to burst out in a fit of giggles. She reaches over and gives Arlo’s foot a soft squeeze, just enough to draw his attention to her, and he smiles at her around the fist that’s shoved in his mouth. 

Lena takes a deep breath and pulls out of the car, shutting the door as she takes a step back and turns to face Kara. 

“I gave Alura my business card,” Lena says as she slides her hands into her back pockets. 

Kara smiles and tilts her head. “She’s a bit young for you to be recruiting her, don’t you think?”

An image of a younger Kara suddenly comes to Lena. Her arms are crossed over her chest, hip resting against the side of the car as she looks at Lena with a mirthful smile, blue eyes twinkling. It’s reminiscent of the Kara that Lena remembers from before. It makes Lena think of that night. 

* * *

_ Lena stands at Kara’s kitchen sink, finishing up the last couple dishes. She hears Kara behind her in the living room as she cleans up the games that were played tonight. They’ve been alone for about a half hour, Alex being the last one to leave.  _

_ The tension has been thick between the two of them all evening and Lena feels like she might suffocate under the weight of it. Lena has only recently begun to reintegrate Kara back into her life and Kara promised no more secrets or lies.  _

_ Kara has always been a touchy person, something that Lena secretly loved at one point, but tonight it was something more and it's had Lena on edge all night. They promised each other no more lies or secrets. And Lena has a big secret, one that she’s been avoiding sharing with the blonde.  _

_ She’s leaving National City.  _

_ Lena squeezes her eyes shut and her grip on the edge of the counter tightens, her head hangs in shame as she listens to Kara happily sing under her breath.  _

_ “Thanks for coming tonight. I hope you know how much it means to me that you’re here,” Kara says, suddenly appearing at Lena’s side. Lena jerks her head up, startled. Kara has sidled up beside her at the counter, left hip pinned to the counter, fingers splayed across the counter top.  _

_ Lena clears her throat and nods her head, not trusting herself to speak.  _

_ “Hey, are you okay?” Kara asks worriedly, her brows knitted together as she steps closer, close enough that Lena can feel Kara’s breath on her cheek.  _

_ “Yeah, I’m fine,” Lena mumbles. “I should get going though.”  _

_ “Oh. Okay. Sure,” Kara says sounding dejected.  _

_ They stand at the front door for a while exchanging awkward pleasantries, Lena only half listening as she tries to work up the courage to tell Kara the truth -- that she’s leaving and doesn’t know when or if she’ll be coming back. For years to come, Lena won’t be able to recall quite how it happened.  _

_ Suddenly Kara’s lips are on her own in an urgent kiss. Lena’s breath knocks out of her lungs as her back hits the door -- Kara’s hands firmly holding onto her hips as she holds Lena in place. _

_ Lena knows she should stop it, but Kara’s lips are soft and warm against her own, and it’s everything she’s wanted for so long. It’s not until Kara’s lips trail from her lips to her jawline to her neck that Lena finally jolts to action.  _

_ “Kara,” Lena says weakly, her body betraying her as her left hand slides up Kara’s back to grasp onto her neck, her right hand pulling Kara impossibly closer by her waist. It’s the truest contradiction; her body, mind, and heart warring a fight she’s not ready for, a fight that she knows will break her.  _

_ Lena’s hand tightens in Kara’s hair as Kara sucks on her pulse point and she has to bite her lip to stifle her moan. This seems to make Kara unhappy and she doubles down her efforts at Lena’s neck and slowly rolls her hips into Lena’s.  _

_ “Fuck,” Lena breathes out as she squeezes her eyes shut and aides the steady roll of Kara’s hips with a shaky hand. She feels Kara smile into her neck and Lena squeezes at the back of her neck. “Don’t be so smug.” Lena’s pretty sure in any other situation she would be embarrassed by how close she is, but she can't bring herself to care. She knows that if Kara continues her movements she’s going to come against her door. _

_ “Kara,” Lena tries again when she feels Kara’s fingers slide under her shirt, thumbs in her pants stroking burning circles into the skin just above the lace of her underwear. “Fuck, Kara. Stop, stop,” Lena says as she pushes firmly on Kara’s chest. This finally gets Kara’s attention and she pulls back, her eyebrows raised in question.  _

_ “Sorry, sorry. I got carried away,” Kara says sheepishly as she takes a step back to give Lena some much needed space.  _

_ “It’s okay. You aren’t the only one,” Lena says chuckling and Kara blushes. “We really need to talk.”  _

_ Kara’s brows knit together at this and Lena takes a deep breath, about to spill everything, forever ruining this moment.  _

_ Lena feels a gentle hand cradle her cheek and when she opens her eyes, she sees her Kara. Kara with a look of concern, maybe even love, as she looks at Lena. Instantly, Lena begins to question her decision on leaving.  _

_ “Are you okay, Lena? I’m sorry if that was too much. I-well I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night, actually,” Kara says as her eyes flick back down to Lena’s lips.  _

_ In a spur of the moment decision, no longer thinking clearly, Lena launches herself at Kara and kisses her again. Kara catches her easily and laughs softly before she reciprocates Lena’s desperate kisses. When Lena attaches her lips to Kara’s neck and bites, Kara whines and pulls Lena closer.  _

_ “Bedroom?” Kara asks gruffly, already backing them up toward her room. Lena nods her head fervently as she kisses below Kara’s ear and then lets out a surprised squeak when Kara lifts her quickly and turns toward the bedroom, clearly impatient.  _

* * *

Lena clears her throat as she suddenly comes rushing back to the present. “Yes, I suppose she is a bit young. Maybe next year?” Lena says quickly as she steps back, just like before, needing more space. 

Kara rolls her eyes, unaware of Lena’s inner turmoil. “Well, we should be off. I’ll be in contact, I’m sure,” Kara teases and Lena forces herself to smile. 

She watches them drive off and then walks to the elevator on auto-pilot, completely unaware of her surroundings. When she wakes up on her couch hours later, her head aches and she reaches blindly for her phone and sees that she has a handful of texts from Kara, the last text having only come in twenty minutes prior. It’s a simple ‘Sweet dreams,’ text, and it makes Lena’s stomach twist with guilt.

Lena lies awake in her bed thinking about Kara, her kids, and her own feelings well into the early hours of the morning, until she finally succumbs to exhaustion - still no closer to any sort of conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written anything like this before, so please be gentle! Please let me know what you all think, I love reading everyone's comments. :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally here! Sorry it took so long, but dang it has been a crazy month and a half... for future reference, I hopefully will not take this long to update.

Lena makes it through the middle of the following week before the conversation she has been avoiding hits her square in the face. 

“Sam, hi. This is a surprise,” Lena says as she looks up from her desk to the woman strolling in through her office door with two coffees in hand. 

Sam smiles and then plops in the chair across from Lena and slides the coffee across the desk to her. It’s when she leans her head back, eyes closed, and groans that Lena gets the feeling that this might not be just a friendly coffee stop. 

“Everything okay?” 

Sam groans again and then tilts her chin back down to look at Lena. “I just needed to get out of the house for a bit. Alex took the kids to the Kent’s and it felt weird being alone in the house.” 

“I have a light day today, I could probably leave early.” Lena pauses and thinks about how she pushed Sam away, pushed away any sort of personal connection with the woman. Regret and shame weigh Lena down, and she vows to make it better. “Come with me back to my place? We can have a proper girls night.”

Sam smiles brightly at that and nods. “That seriously sounds amazing. Complete with take out and wine.”

True to Lena’s word, they leave the office early in the afternoon and Sam follows Lena back to her place. 

“I’m going to call in our order,” Sam yells to Lena.

“The take out menu is on the fridge,” Lena says over her shoulder. “I’m just going to change and I’ll be right out.” 

Sam nods as she pulls her phone out and walks to the fridge. She quickly dials the number and by the third ring she’s so distracted by the photos on Lena’s fridge that she misses the person answering the phone. 

“Oh! Hi, I’m sorry. I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”

Sam finishes up the order and sits on the couch. Lena comes out, looking much more comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans. 

“Food will be here in about 45 minutes,” Sam says as Lena sits down. “I didn’t really get a chance to look around when I was here before. I can’t believe you have pictures up.” Sam gestures to the fridge and the pictures on the wall. 

Lena shrugs as she looks around her apartment. It is different from her old apartment.

“I like the photos,” Sam says with a final nod and then smiles at Lena and Lena’s mouth tilts into a small smile as well.

“So, why didn’t you go with Alex and the kids?” Lena asks later, both women now sitting on the floor with their backs to the couch — more food than they could possibly ever eat spread out across the coffee table. 

Sam picks at her food, a glum look replacing her earlier smile. “Alex and I got in a big fight last night. We aren’t really in a good place right now.” 

Lena slides a little closer, just enough so that Sam is in reaching distance. “I’m sorry, Sam, I had no idea. Do you want to talk about it?” 

Sam puts her to go container down and looks up at the ceiling and lets out an anguished sigh. She covers her face with her hands and her breathing picks up and that’s when Lena notices the tears. 

Lena closes the distance between them and wraps an arm around Sam and the other woman leans gratefully on her shoulder. Minutes go by as Sam quietly cries while Lena tries her best to comfort her. 

Sam finally pulls away, eyes red and still wet from tears. “God, Lena, I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed,” Sam says, her voice breaking as she wipes away her tears. “One minute we’re fine and the next we’re fighting. She won’t talk to me about it. I thought when Kara and the kids came back that she would get better but she hasn’t. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” 

This surprises Lena. The few times she’s seen them together, they seemed like a typical married couple, very clearly happy and in love. But if she’s learned anything from her own personal experiences, it’s that grief and pain ebbs and flows and appearances aren’t everything. She also remembers the eldest Danvers sibling has a unique way of dealing with her feelings. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Lena says as she squeezes Sam’s hand. “She loves you. Don’t give up.” 

Sam nods and reaches for her food again. “Sorry for just unloading all of my marital problems on you. I haven’t really been able to vent about life’s issues in a while, so I got a little carried away,” Sam explains, obviously slightly embarrassed. 

Lena knows the last comment isn’t meant to be a dig, but it still makes Lena internally wince as she realizes that she hasn’t been there for Sam the way she should have been. She also takes it at face value: that Sam hasn’t had a confidant since Kara’s wife passed away. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m here for any sort of venting you may need to do. In fact, I encourage bullshittery,” Lena says in faux seriousness, causing Sam to crack a smile. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you in any way you need. I know I haven’t been there for you, but I plan to change that.” 

It’s later, during the movie and a couple glasses of wine for Sam, that a surprising topic comes up. 

Lena has just glanced down at her phone to find an adorable photo of Alura and Arlo, a smile on her face. She types out a quick reply and when she directs her attention back to the TV, it’s been paused. 

Confused, she turns to look at Sam. Sam is staring at her with a look that tells Lena they’re about to have a serious talk, one that Lena is wholly unprepared for. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam asks, still fixing Lena with an intent look. Lena swallows and looks away, mentally preparing herself. Realizing she’ll probably never be ready for this, she just nods anyway. Sam looks around, and then just asks with a point to Lena’s shirt, “Seattle?” 

Lena’s face scrunches in confusion because that is probably the last thing she expected to come out of Sam’s mouth. “Sorry, what?”

“It’s just I’ve known you for a long time, Lena, and I’ve never known you to have any sort of personal or professional connections to Seattle. Some of the pictures on your fridge were taken in Seattle and your t-shirt”, Sam points again, “is clearly from Seattle as well.” 

Lena looks away quickly and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and rubs a red line into her forehead. “You can’t possibly know all of my business contacts,” Lena says in a way that she hopes belays the conversation from continuing. 

Sam rolls her eyes. “Don’t even try to do that, Lena. You can talk to me about it, I mean I have my own suspicions, but you don’t need to talk to me like I’m one of the directors.” 

They sit in silence for a while as Sam waits for Lena to get her shit together. Sam finally seems to grow impatient with the silence. “Just tell me one thing. Are you in a relationship?” 

“What? No! I’m single,” Lena practically yells, suddenly feeling sick and regretting her dinner choice. 

Sam holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry for asking. It’s just the pictures caught me off guard. And I’ve seen the tabloids…”

Lena nods because she understands why Sam wants to know. She understands the protectiveness she must feel over Kara. 

So Lena goes against her better judgement and gives a little. “We met while I was on sabbatical. We were both—” Lena pauses, searching for the words, “we were both struggling with things at the time and took comfort in one another. It continued once we got back and we tried at something more, but the distance got too hard. We’ve managed to stay friends,” Lena finishes smoothly and hopes the vagueness of her answer satisfies Sam’s curiosity. 

“Holy shit, Lena. That was ages ago. Did you love her?” Sam asks almost immediately with wide eyes. 

“Jesus, Sam, you’ve got some really hard-hitting questions tonight,” Lena scoffs. Sam just stares at her expectantly and Lena rolls her eyes. “No, I wasn’t in love with her. But I wouldn’t be here without her. She pulled me out of the bottom of a bottle and showed me how to enjoy life again, how to live a life outside of work. I’ll always love her for that, but we were never in love.” 

“So it was mostly physical then? Is it still physical? If I remember correctly, the tabloids had Lena Luthor in Seattle over New Years,” Sam jokes with a waggle of her eyebrows, instantly lightening the mood. 

“Sam!” Lena shrieks as she launches a pillow at her. Sam just laughs as she bats it away and Lena feels light and silly. “Yes, I was in Seattle over New Years and, yes, we happened to be two single, consenting women. I have no further comments.” 

Sam snorts and shakes her head. “Whatever you say.” 

They go back to watching the movie and Lena almost lets out a sigh of relief. She was expecting the conversation to turn to Kara, but Sam never brought her up. Something that Lena is thankful for because it’s not something Lena can even begin to think about, let alone talk about. 

“Are you staying the night?” Lena asks as the second movie of the evening ends. 

Sam sighs but shakes her head. “No. Alex and I need to talk. Thank you for letting me wreck your entire afternoon.” 

“You can wreck my afternoon whenever you’d like, love. It was a welcome distraction, trust me,” Lena assures. “And good luck with Alex. Call me if you need anything, okay?” 

Sam smiles nervously and nods, then brushes her hair behind her ear. “I will.”

Both women’s attention is then pulled to Lena’s phone vibrating on the table and Lena clenches her jaw at her own stupidity for leaving her phone face up, revealing the caller. 

Sam looks at Lena, eyebrows raised, with absolute glee on her face. “Time for that nightly call, huh?” Sam just laughs and rolls her eyes at Lena’s own wide eyes. “Oh, please, like you could prevent a four year old from blabbing to the whole house that you talk to her every night before bedtime. This is Kara’s daughter we’re talking about.” 

Lena feels heat on the back of her neck, but she refuses to feel embarrassed about her evening calls with Alura. They’ve been occurring every night since their visit to the zoo and it’s something that Lena looks forward to all day, something that instantly lifts her mood after a long, stressful day. 

“I enjoy our talks,” Lena replies stiffly. “She’s very intelligent.” 

Sam’s smile softens. “Who knew all it took to melt that Luthor exterior was a stubborn four year old girl.” Sam stands and stretches. “One who, by the way, will be very unhappy that you just missed her call. I should go.” 

Lena stands with her and they walk to the door. “Thanks for coming over. I’ve missed this,” Lena says while looking down and fiddling with the hem of her shirt. 

“Me too. I know I’ve said this a lot, but I really am glad to have you around again. We still have a lot of catching up to do, but we’ll get there.” Sam looks at her with a kind smile and Lena feels the familiar prickle behind her eyes. 

Lena nods and then they’re hugging. “God,” Lena laughs wetly, “it feels like I’ve cried more in the last month than I have my whole life.” 

Sam laughs in her shoulder and then pulls away. “Tell Kara I say hello. I’ll text you in the morning.” 

“See you, Sam. Good luck,” Lena says as she closes the door behind Sam. 

Lena wants to call Kara back but decides she needs a moment to gather herself. Instead, she walks back into her living room and begins to clean up the mess of take out boxes. Once that’s done, Lena hand washes the two wine glasses. 

Now sitting in bed after finishing her nightly routine, and unable to put off the call any longer, she reaches for her phone and presses Kara’s contact.

The phone rings for a while and Lena wonders if she’s missed her chance. She pulls her phone away to check the time and sees that it’s only been about 15 minutes since Kara called. And then finally, just as Lena begins to pull her phone away again to disconnect the call, Kara answers. 

“Hey, Lena. Just give me one second ,” Kara whispers and then Lena hears slight movement and rustling in the background. “Okay, I’m here. Alura fell asleep on me and I had to maneuver my way out without waking her. Hi! ” 

Lena chuckles and leans back against her headboard. “Hello. I’m sorry I missed her. Sam was here when you called.”

“It’s okay. She was honestly half asleep when we called. We had a very busy day,” Kara explains. 

“Oh, of course, we can talk tomorrow,” Lena says quickly, feeling foolish. 

“No! Wait, I don’t mind. How was your day?” 

This was definitely new. Usually, Lena and Alura would talk for a few moments and then when the phone is handed back to Kara, they disconnect after a brief ‘goodbye’. 

“It was good. Sam sprung me from work early for a girls day.” 

Kara sighs. “I’m sure you heard Sam and Alex had a rough night last night. I’m glad she went to you. Alex is being really unfair,” Kara says, a slight edge to her tone.

“How so?” Lena asks in hopes that Kara has insider information. 

“Well— ” Kara laughs but it sounds strained and tight. “I guess I don’t know for sure. I just know Alex. I think she’s scared. She saw me lose Erin and saw how it destroyed me,” there’s a pause on the other line, but Lena hears Kara take a deep breath. “And I definitely haven’t made it easy on her either. Despite all of that, I know they’ll be okay,” Kara says confidently and Lena can almost picture her self-assured nod. 

“Sam said they’re talking tonight. Hopefully Alex opens up,” Lena says. “Wait, does that mean you aren’t there?” 

Kara chuckles. “No. Alex asked if Clark and Lois could watch the kids tonight so they could talk without the interruption, so I decided we would also spend the night.” 

Lena chuckles as she tries to imagine the chaos of having so many children in one house. 

Later, when Lena’s eyes begin to burn, she’s shocked to see they’ve been talking for nearly an hour. She can also hear the sleepiness in Kara’s voice. They both agree to meet up at some point in the coming days and then bid each other good night. 

* * *

The next day Lena and Kara exchange a few texts throughout the day. The texts never indicated that when Lena would get home later that evening, it’d be to Kara sitting on the floor outside her front door with Arlo laying between her legs and Alura practicing some pretty impressive spin moves. 

When Lena steps out of the elevator, Kara’s head snaps up to meet her eyes and she smiles sheepishly. “Hi. I’m sorry I keep doing this to you. I brought groceries in hopes that a home cooked meal would make up for it.” 

Lena smiles but stares down at Kara with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t say no to that. But I really wish you would have told me you were coming, I wouldn’t have dawdled at the office. How long have you been here?” 

“Five minutes!” Alura yells from beside Kara. 

“Is that so? Well, come on. I’m starving.” Lena reaches for Alura’s hand and they all walk in together. As soon as the door closes behind them, Alura takes off into the open living room and continues spinning, giving Lena a chance to confront Kara quietly. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Kara says breathlessly, eyes wide from how quick Lena turned on her. Kara sighs and then she stares at Lena intently. “Should we go? I know I should have told you we were coming, but it just kind of happened.”

Kara’s already reshouldering the diaper bag and looking toward Alura, presumably to tell her they’re leaving, when Lena reaches out and grabs Kara’s wrist. “I’m sorry, I was only teasing you. Please stay. You’re more than welcome to be here,” Lena says softly, along with a reassuring squeeze and a brush of her thumb. 

Kara’s eyes search Lena’s and when Kara smiles softly and puts the bag back down, Lena lets out the breath she was holding. 

“So, what are you cooking for dinner?” Lena asks with a glint in her eyes and Kara instantly bounces back from her moment of self doubt with a smile. 

Kara ends up refusing to let Lena help with any prep work or cooking, so instead Lena finds herself fussing over Arlo and Alura, while Kara moves around her kitchen flawlessly with a look of determination on her face. Lena finds it intriguing to see Kara confidently cutting vegetables and comfortably using more than one burner at a time because the Kara she remembers could burn water without even trying. 

Lena can feel Kara’s eyes on her as she watches Alura spin in circles until she’s so dizzy she collapses on the floor in a fit of giggles, Lena clapping and laughing along with her. She tries to ignore it but can’t help it as she feels the pull to look in Kara’s direction. It seems to startle Kara out of it and she smiles before quickly turning away. It continues, like a game of cat and mouse, both catching the other staring. Lena decides that seeing Kara and the kids in her apartment is a jarring feeling. A feeling that leaves her feeling content and terrified at the same time.

Lena sets the table as Kara goes about making finishing touches on their meal. She stacks a pile of books and a pillow on a chair, feeling guilty that she doesn’t have a more adequate seat for Alura. This doesn’t seem to faze the four year old, she actually seems quite excited about sitting on a stack of books and a throw pillow to eat dinner. 

“Dinner is served,” Kara says with a flourish as she sets three plates on the table. It looks like Kara roasted potatoes and some other vegetables, cooked up some chicken and topped it off with a nice sauce. 

“This looks lovely, Kara,” Lena compliments as they all begin eating. “And it is absolutely delicious. When did you learn to cook like this?”

Kara blushes as she takes her own bite. “I’ve learned to enjoy cooking over the years. I’m mostly still a mess in the kitchen, but I’m a pro at the few meals I can cook,” Kara says with a shrug of her shoulders. 

They all settle into an easy going chatter, both women listening to Alura as she rattles on about seemingly nothing. But it’s everything to Lena. 

After eating, Kara excuses herself with Arlo, leaving Lena and Alura at the table.

“Want to help me clean up?” Lena asks and Alura happily accepts. Lena allows her to carry over a cup while Lena gathers the rest of their dirty dishes. She drags over a tall chair and lets Alura sit on it as she begins to wash the dishes and load the dishwasher. 

“Can we watch a movie when we’re done?” Alura asks as she looks up at Lena with big, beautiful blue eyes. 

“As long as your mom says it’s okay,” Lena says as she reaches for Alura’s face with a soapy hand. Alura screams and grabs Lena’s wrist right as Lena rubs soap bubbles across her cheek. 

Alura grabs a handful and Lena dramatically backs away from the little girl as she slowly climbs down the chair. “Oh, please don’t. I’m so sorry,” Lena pleads playfully as she drops to her knees just as the little girl corners her. 

“Gotcha!” Alura shrieks as she smears the bubbles on Lena’s face and in her hair. Lena tumbles back, pulling Alura with her. Now on her back, and at the perfect advantage, Lena begins tickling the already giggling girl until they’re both red in the face and out of breath. 

“Now what do we have going on here?” Kara asks, looking down as she stands above Lena and Alura’s heads. It’s obvious Kara is trying not to laugh and Lena just smirks at her. 

“Lena started it!” Alura yells immediately. 

“Did not,” Lena scoffs, replying just as quickly, still on her back looking up at Kara. “Alura told me she loves being tickled.” 

“Oh, did she?” Kara asks as an evil grin spreads across her face slowly. Kara squats down and Alura is too slow as both women turn on her and begin tickling her relentlessly. The little girl wriggles on the floor as she tries to get away from the onslaught of tickling she’s receiving. Finally, Kara and Lena relent and release their hold on Alura. 

“Can we watch a movie, mama?” Alura asks once their tickle fight is over and they lay in a heap on the floor. 

“A movie, huh? What are you feeling?” Kara asks, now sitting up on her elbows. 

“Can we watch A Bug’s Life?” Alura asks and Kara laughs, surprised by her choice. 

“If that’s what you want to watch, then that’s what we’ll watch. We just have to be quiet because your brother is asleep down the hall.” 

Alura nods seriously and puts her index finger in front of her lips and makes a ‘shh’ sound and then she shoots off to the living room, leaving Kara and Lena. 

“Do you mind if we stay for a movie?” Kara asks, turning toward Lena. 

“Of course not. Do you honestly think she’s going to make it through a movie though? She barely made it through dinner.” Kara just grins and she’s back on her feet before Lena even fully sits up. Kara reaches her hands out and Lena gratefully accepts and she’s then hoisted up to her feet in one fluid motion. 

Suddenly, they’re close. Too close. And Kara is looking at her with a warm smile and kind eyes and it’s reminiscent of how Kara used to look at her, before everything grew complicated and confusing. 

“She’ll be asleep before the grasshoppers land on the island,” Kara says goofily, “Dot is her favorite so she’ll probably be up until she makes an appearance.” 

Lena forces a laugh, but she feels on edge from Kara’s closeness. She takes a step back and walks back toward the kitchen with the intention of making a lot of popcorn, if only for the much needed breather she gets from being away from Kara and her closeness. 

The three settle on the couch, Alura between Kara and Lena. Lena shares a bowl of popcorn with Alura and Kara happily takes her own. 

It starts with Alura leaning on Lena and then slowly progresses to her laying on the couch with her head on the pillow in Lena’s lap, her little feet resting against her mother’s legs. 

Alura assures them, adamantly in fact, that she is not falling asleep. Kara and Lena just share a knowing smirk and a shake of their heads and go back to watching the movie. 

“That didn’t last long,” Kara says as she glances at her now sleeping daughter a short while later. Lena also looks down and her heart swells with happiness. 

Lena hums quietly. “Guess not. Although, she did make it past the grasshoppers landing,” Lena quips with an arched brow. 

Kara grins and gently lifts Alura’s legs off her. “I’m going to take her to the guest room, if that’s okay?”

Lena nods and watches as Kara stands and then bends down to scoop Alura off Lena’s lap. Even though the little girl was putting out an exorbitant amount of body heat, Lena instantly misses the weight and warmth, similar to how she felt when she held Arlo on her chest as he slept peacefully. 

Feeling the need to keep herself busy, and unable to focus on the movie, Lena stands and walks to the kitchen for a glass of water. She ignores the weight she feels in her chest when she remembers this is only temporary. That at some point Kara will return to National City with her kids. 

Lena closes her eyes as she braces her hands against the edge of the counter. She focuses on the cold feel of the counter as she works on her breathing. A couple moments later — heart rate and breathing back to normal — she finishes off her glass of water and goes back to the couch and continues to watch the movie. 

“Looks like we have a party crasher on our hands.” Lena turns to see Kara holding a very awake and alert Arlo. Kara places him in her arms immediately and sits down on the couch. 

“What is it with you and Lois treating this poor baby like a hot potato?” Lena asks and Kara throws her head back and laughs loudly. 

“He was very insistent that he come out and say hello,” Kara says as she leans back and watches Lena and Arlo. 

“Is that so? Well, hello,” Lena greets Arlo with a scratch to his belly. He grabs her hand and coos happily. “He’s quite the happy baby,” Lena says as she looks back up to Kara. 

Kara smiles proudly. “He is. He’s especially happy after waking up. When I went in the room he was just wide awake and talking to himself, completely content.” 

Lena smiles at the baby and wipes away some drool from his chin with her thumb and turns him so his back is resting against her chest. The movie continues to play in the background, but neither are paying attention. Lena can sense that Kara is preoccupied with whatever brought her to her doorstep tonight. 

“Did you see Sam and Alex today?” Lena asks, turning to face Kara. 

Kara shakes her head and mirrors Lena’s position so that they’re facing each other, movie forgotten. “No. We left Clark’s before Sam could get there to pick the kids up.” 

Lena adjusts Arlo — who has gone more pliant in her arms — over her shoulder. “Do you think they’re okay?” 

“Yeah, I talked to Alex earlier on the phone and it sounded like they had the talk they needed.” 

“What did you do today?” Lena asks as gently as she can. Lena already knew, of course. Alura told her all about their visit with her grandparents while Kara cooked dinner. But that, mostly, didn’t explain why Kara was upset. While Kara has certainly been chipper, maybe even playful, throughout her visit, Lena knew right away that something was bothering her. 

“We spent the day with my in-laws,” Kara says simply as she turns her head and looks away from Lena. Her eyes then turn to Arlo and she smiles briefly before she meets Lena’s eyes again.

“Are you close with them?” Lena asks curiously. She can’t imagine anyone’s parents not loving Kara. 

“Yes. Naturally, it’s been a little strained since—” Kara trails off and then clears her throat. “Well, you know. Erin’s mom has been more understanding, but her dad wasn’t very pleased when I went to Argo. He seems less than pleased now about our current living situation. I think he may have used the term couch surfing.”

This makes Lena incredibly angry. “All that should matter is that you’re taking care of your children and that they’re loved,” Lena says a little louder than planned and Arlo begins to squirm slightly in her arms, clearly upset about being disturbed. Instantly regretting her outburst, she gently rubs a soothing hand up and down his back while making shushing sounds, and he relaxes once again. “Sorry.” Lena shoots Kara an apologetic smile.

Lena wants to discuss the matter further, but she knows it’s not any of her business and Kara seems content with leaving it there. 

Silence blankets the room and the only noises that fill the room are the ones coming from the baby that Lena is holding. When Lena pulls back slightly to get a better look at him, he’s smiling up at her. Again, she wipes the drool from his chin and lower lip and without a second thought wipes it on her very expensive pair of jeans. 

He continues to level Lena with a stare similar to the one from the morning they went to the zoo. It’s equal parts intense and curious and Lena feels ridiculous because she feels like he’s seeing through her. 

“Alura was a very loud, happy baby. Once she figured out how to verbally communicate, we never had a moment of silence again. That’s all Erin,” Kara says with a fond smile and a faraway look on her face as she watches Arlo. “It’s not that Arlo isn’t happy, he’s just more reserved. I guess he’s cautious. He likes to observe things quietly and he loves staring. I think he’s already got us all figured out.” 

“He gets that from you.” Lena adjusts Arlo so that he’s resting against her again. He grips onto her shirt, his little fists balled up tightly. Lena has noticed a change in Kara since they reconnected. There’s a quiet sort of confidence about her that Lena would have normally associated with Supergirl. She figures that has more to do with Kara maturing, and growing as a person, and the life experiences she’s had over the last eight years. Lena knows she’s certainly not the same person she was eight years ago, and the same can probably be said for Kara. 

Kara looks down at her twisting hands and for a moment Lena worries she may have spoken out of turn. But when Kara looks up again she has a soft smile and looks slightly embarrassed. “Thanks. Has Sam talked to you about the 4th of July yet?” 

“No,” Lena says with a slight shake of her head. 

“We’re leaving town for the weekend and Sam was going to ask if you’d join us.”

Lena has no idea what to say. She opens and closes her mouth a few times and watches as Kara launches into a rambling tailspin. 

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t realize she hadn’t said anything yet. We only talked about it a couple days ago, I mean it’s not like she hasn’t been preoccupied or anything… well, I guess there’s your invitation,” Kara finishes with a bright smile. “I know you’re probably busy but please consider it? We leave Friday and come back Monday. Alex, Sam and the kids are going back to National City the following day.” 

“I’ll check my schedule. I can’t guarantee anything, but I will try.” Kara smiles again and it’s infectious and Lena can’t help but return it. Lena tamps down the sadness she feels that soon Sam and her family will be leaving. She wonders if that means Kara and her kids will be leaving too, but she’s too terrified of the answer to ask. It makes her hold Arlo a little closer, who by now has fallen asleep against her chest. 

Later, Lena helps Kara take her sleeping kids to the car. Even though they’re both passed out, Lena leans down and sweeps the palm of her hand across both of their foreheads and down their cheeks and whispers a gentle ‘sweet dreams.’ Kara hugs her tightly before she gets in the car and drives away. 

She wonders how many times she’ll have to watch them go before it breaks her. 

She knows there are things that are out of her control. She knows she needs to be careful because she and Kara aren’t the only ones that could get hurt. 

As she sits down in her home office to finish up some work, far too amped up to sleep, Lena decides all she can do is take it one day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope it was enjoyable! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I’m still so new to all of this, but I find that I really enjoy reading all of your comments! It makes the anxiety (okay, maybe more like compete and total panic) I feel leading up to posting more worth it lol. I’m sure that’s normal with putting your writing out there, and in a sense a piece of yourself.
> 
> Stay safe out there!!
> 
> Also, I am extremely excited for the next chapter. :)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! SO MANY rewrites before I thought it was halfway decent enough to post. I decided to just stop stressing about it and just get it out there.

It turns out Sam didn’t tell her about the weekend trip because she was secretly conspiring with Lena’s assistant to ensure she is able to take time away from the office, something that Lena finds out when they meet for lunch. 

“I knew when my workload suddenly decreased that something was afoot,” Lena says to Sam after Sam tentatively tells her about the weekend trip. 

Sam smiles proudly and takes a sip of water. “Does that mean you’re coming?” 

Lena sighs and looks at her lap. “What if I say no?”

Sam places her hand on the table, palm up, meant to be an invitation for Lena to take if she wishes. “Don’t say no. Please come with us. All of us want you there. Even Alex was excited about the idea and you know how grumpy she can be. Alura and Ellie are absolutely thrilled that you might be joining us. If it’s a matter of you thinking you aren’t welcome or that it’d be weird or awkward… that’s not the case. If you’re not comfortable with it, then I totally understand and won’t pressure you,” Sam says seriously. 

“It’s not a question of not wanting to go, of course I do. I just know it’s going to make seeing you guys leave that much more difficult,” Lena admits, even though she knows it’s only partially the truth. 

“Oh, honey. You travel to National City a lot. Instead of staying in a snooty high rise, come sleep on the couch in our basement. We even have an air mattress upgrade option. We’re not letting go of you again. You’re stuck with us whether you like it or not.” 

Both women laugh through the emotions and Lena wipes below her eye before a tear has a chance to fall. 

“Okay. I’ve thought about it and I don’t think I should be there this weekend,” Lena begins after taking a deep breath, and at Sam’s look of disappointment, she holds up her hand, “but I don’t mind coming early Saturday morning and staying for the day. I really do appreciate the offer, but I just- I don’t think it’d be right.” 

Sam nods and smiles. “I get it, Lena. It’s okay. Honestly, I’ll take anything I can get.” 

Lena takes a breath, a wide smile making its way to her face. “And I’ll have to seriously consider downgrading from a five star hotel to a couch and your three screaming children,” Lena says with a raised brow and Sam throws her napkin at Lena’s face.. 

“So how did it go with Alex?” Lena asks halfway through their lunch. Sam seems happier than the last time she saw her and is hoping it’s good news. 

“It took us a while to get there, and there are definitely still things we need to work on and discuss, but I think we’re finally back on the same page.” 

“That’s great, Sam.” Sam smiles at Lena again and the conversation lightens up. They spend the rest of their lunch talking and laughing, making up for lost time. After their lunch, Lena returns to L-Corp with a smile on her face.

Later that night, after talking with Alura for a little bit, she talks to Kara. She’s nervous to tell Kara she won’t be able to make the whole weekend and it’s something she’s been dreading all day. When the conversation gets to that point and Lena reveals that she’s only coming for one day, Kara doesn’t waiver. She’s still just as excited, something that Lena is grateful for. 

She falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. 

* * *

Lena takes a half-day at work on Friday so that she has enough time to pack her things and get ready. She packs her things slowly as she begins to mentally prepare herself for tomorrow. Feeling satisfied with what she’s packed, she places her bag by her front door and goes to her kitchen to pour herself a much needed glass of wine. She’s wired and needs to take the edge off if she’s planning on falling asleep any time soon. 

She’s only had half a glass when she feels her phone vibrating in her back pocket. Pulling her phone out, she sees the cause of her nerves on her screen. Unable to look away, she swipes open the text to see a couple photos Kara has sent. The first is a photo of all the kids sleeping and piled in one area of the living room, blankets and pillows all around them. The second is a photo of Alura and Arlo on a deck, a beautiful view of a lake behind them.  _ We’re all excited for you to join us. See you in the morning,  _ is the caption under the photos. 

Lena smiles at the photos and feeling the pulls of sleepiness, she crawls into bed and shoots a response off to Kara returning the sentiment before she falls asleep. 

* * *

Lena’s alarm goes off way too soon and she has half a mind to throw it across the room. Groaning, she shuts off the offending alarm and pulls herself out of bed to get the coffee started. It’s a slow process, but about 30 minutes later she’s finally dressed and ready to go. 

The drive goes by quicker than she thought and before she knows it, her GPS indicates she’s arrived as she makes the final turn up a long driveway that’s lined with trees on either side. When the house comes into view, she sees Kara sitting on the porch waiting for her. She waves and then makes her to the back of her SUV to retrieve her stuff.

“Hey, hey, here, let me get that,” Kara says hurriedly, as if she jogged over the last few steps. Then there’s a warm hand on Lena’s back as if to brace her from falling backwards, and Kara’s other hand is reaching for the handle that Lena’s been fruitlessly yanking on. 

  
  


“I think it’s stuck,” Lena says lamely as she slides back out. With both feet now planted firmly back on the ground, she lets out a huff. Her back is tingling where Kara’s hand was just touching her and she feels out of breath. 

Kara leans over and jostles the wheeled baggage and it breaks free from whatever it was caught on. She heaves it out and dramatically sets it on the ground. “Jeez, Lena. What’s in here? You’re only here for a day,” Kara teases. 

“That’s Sam’s. She texted me last night saying she forgot some stuff,” Lena says simply. She grabs her much smaller duffel out of the back and secures the strap over her shoulder before closing the hatch. “This is my bag.”

Kara looks like she’s fighting a smile and then she nods her head toward the house. “Everyone is still asleep.” 

They’re walking toward the house together when Kara sneakily slips her fingers under Lena’s shoulder strap and then throws it over her own shoulder. “Thanks,” Lena says and Kara just grins and gestures for Lena to lead the way up the stairs. 

Kara places the bags at the foot of the stairs and turns toward Lena. “I’m going to get started on breakfast. I could use some help with breakfast if you’re willing.” 

They work mostly in silence as they dance around each other in the kitchen. Lena is chopping up some fresh fruit when she looks up and sees little legs dressed in pink pajamas walking down the stairs. She’s slow — still obviously waking up — and dragging a stuffed animal behind her. Kara notices her too and she stretches her arms out in front of her, a big smile on her face. 

Alura stops and looks at both women and stops short of Kara, and instead reaches up for Lena. Lena’s jaw drops and she swears her heart stops beating for a moment. Terrified, she glances at Kara expecting to see a hurt mother that’s been rejected, but all she finds is a surprised, but kind smile. 

Lena hauls Alura up in her arms and pulls her around to rest on her hip. “Good morning, Alura,” Lena greets as she tightly clings to her torso. 

“No love for your mommy this morning, Lu?” Kara asks as she bends her knees slightly so she’s at eye level with Alura. Alura quickly turns her head so she’s facing the other direction, and nuzzles her face into Lena’s neck. 

Lena and Kara share an amused look over the top of Alura’s head and Kara leans closer to kiss the back of her grumpy daughter’s head. “Good morning, baby. I love you,” Kara says quietly and then looks back at Lena, nodding in the direction of the dinner table. “You can sit down with her. I’ll finish up here.”

When Lena sits down at the table, Alura’s hold around her neck loosens and she adjusts so she’s curled up more and pressing her side into Lena’s front. 

“You know, I was actually just on my way to come wake you up. If you hadn’t come down when you did, I think your mom would have eaten all the pancakes.” She hears a soft snort from the kitchen and when she glances in Kara’s direction, she’s still diligently working on flipping pancakes. 

Alura sits up a little straighter and turns to look at Lena. “Yeah. Mama loves pancakes,” Alura says seriously. She then slides out of Lena’s lap and tentatively walks into the kitchen and stops at Kara’s side. 

“Mama?” Kara stops what she’s doing and drops down so she’s at eye level with Alura. “I’m sorry I was grumpy with you. I love you too.” 

The way Kara wraps Alura in a hug and pulls her close steals Lena’s breath away and she wonders how she’s going to make it the rest of the day when it hasn’t even been an hour. 

They pull apart at the sounds of stomping and screaming children. “Why don’t you go up there and let them know breakfast will be ready in a few minutes?” 

Kara puts Alura down and then she’s off — running as fast as her little legs will take her — up the stairs. 

Once Alura is out of sight, Kara begins carrying over plates of food and once done, she sits down across from Lena. 

“Alura isn’t much of a morning person,” Kara says with a laugh, picking some fruit out of the dish and popping it in her mouth. “She always comes around though.” 

Lena smiles, unsure of what to say. She’s touched that Alura wanted to be held by her. Luckily, she doesn’t have to think too long about it because there’s running above their heads and then all the kids come thundering down the stairs. 

After a chaotic, but endearing breakfast, the kids all go outside to play and Kara disappears upstairs. A few minutes later she returns with Arlo and hands him over to Lena.

“He didn’t sleep much last night, so he might be a bit cranky,” Kara says as she sits down across from Lena, Kara, Alex and Sam all watching closely.

She holds him for another few minutes and then sure enough he begins to fuss, only content once he’s back in Kara’s arms. 

* * *

“Okay, kids. Everybody line up, please.” Lena tries to use her most kid friendly boardroom voice and she fails miserably. Alura and Ellie are still running around and Jeremiah appears to be writing stuff in the dirt with a stick. They’ve decided on exploring some of the nearby trails that branch off the lake before hiking back down for a swim, and Lena has taken it upon herself to be in charge of making sure the kids are all well protected from the sun. 

Alex is suddenly at her side and whistling loudly. Three little heads swivel in their direction. “Hey! Lena asked you three to come over here. She has the sunscreen, you know the rules.” She then turns to Lena with a wide smile. “That was a stellar attempt.” 

Lena rolls her eyes, deciding Alex isn’t intimidating when she has her babbling son strapped to her chest, and takes the tube of baby sunblock out of Alex’s outstretched hand and rubs it into Luke’s exposed skin. 

The walk is more pleasant than she thought it would be. It’s a gradual climb and the trail is completely clear and plenty wide. The group is spread out, with Kara and Sam walking together at the front and Lena in the back with Alex, all the kids in the middle. 

“I’m glad you were able to make it,” Alex says, squinting ahead as she keeps a close eye on the kids. 

“Me too,” Lena says, sensing where this conversation is going.

Alex glances at her for a moment before training her eyes ahead again, letting out a drawn out sigh. “I have to be honest, I was really nervous when I saw you at that store. I mean, can you blame me?” Alex asks with a sarcastic laugh. “It was hard on all of us when you left, but especially Kara and Sam.” 

Lena knew this moment was only a matter of time, and honestly she’s surprised it’s taken this long for Alex’s protective nature to kick in given how much time she’s been spending with her wife, Kara, and the kids. She knows a pseudo shovel talk will put Alex at ease so she just listens politely as they trail behind the group.

“I just wanted to say thank you,” Alex says breathily, like even she’s surprised by her own words.

Lena comes to a stop, not expecting this from Alex. She pulls her sunglasses up to the top of her head and looks at Alex with a questioning look. “What?” Lena asks, completely puzzled. 

Alex looks at the ground and then back up at Lena, her jaw tense and eyes squinting in the sunlight. “I know you talked to Sam the night we had our talk, that you spent most of the day with her. Let me tell you, I’ve been a real  _ dick,”  _ she whispers the last word softly, her hands coming up to cover Luke’s ears. “But, for the first time in almost a year, I feel like everything is going to be okay. Sam and I were able to talk and Kara and I had an important conversation, one that we’ve both been needing since Erin passed away. I know it’s all thanks to you, so  _ thank you,” _ Alex says so earnestly, her voice slightly cracking, and Lena is stunned silent. 

Lena nods and reaches over to hug Alex the best way she can with Lucas still in his baby carrier attached to Alex’s chest. It’s clumsy and awkward, but when Alex pulls away she laughs tearfully and looks like the young woman Lena remembered her to be. Lena is learning more and more about the guilt and grief carried by Kara, Sam, and now Alex. She knows it’s all still a mess, that she and Kara are soon going to have to face the music sooner rather than later, but for the time being she feels relief in knowing that even if things end horribly, that they’ve all made amends and can rely on each other again. 

After that, it’s easier and less awkward with Alex. Lena doesn’t feel the need to be as defensive around her, at the ready for any sort of attack that may be thrown her way. They walk the rest of the way together, keeping up with the easy small talk until they reach a large clearing that overlooks the lake, and they all settle in for a picnic. Kara spreads out a large blanket for everyone to sit on and Lena ends up on one end, Alura and Ellie on either side of her as they split up sandwiches and fruit. 

The three of them end up on their backs watching the clouds go by after they finish their sandwiches. She loves listening to their happy chatter, both girls exclaiming that they see dinosaurs and even a camel on roller skates. Lena just listens, a wide smile on her face, occasionally offering up her own opinions on the clouds, even throwing in some cloud-related facts. When she finally sits up, Kara is watching them with interest and she smiles briefly and then looks away, jumping back into a conversation with Alex. 

On the way back, Lena makes the mistake of offering the kids piggyback rides. She gives each of them a ride before Kara finally steps in.

“That’s enough, you rascals,” Kara says from behind her, shooing the kids away from Lena. The three kids run ahead, leaving Kara and Lena in the rear of the group.

Lena twists and turns with a wince. “That was exhausting. I think my back is broken.” 

Kara laughs. “That’s probably my fault. They’re so used to me hauling them around.” 

Lena hums. “I see. And you don’t realize how heavy they are. Well trust me, they’re heavy. I’ll send you the bill from my chiropractor.” 

Kara’s face splits into a smile and she laughs again as she absently rubs Arlo’s back, who is fast asleep in the baby wrap, his little face squished against Kara’s chest. 

They navigate over some rocks and then come to a stop at a lookout. “I saw that you and Alex fell behind earlier,” Kara pries while watching Lena out of the corner of her eye.

“We just had a little chat. It was good,” Lena says with a reassuring smile. She can tell that Kara is still worried by the suspicious look she’s giving her and Lena laughs. “Honestly, Kara. I promise it was okay. It wasn’t the kind of conversation I was expecting to have with a protective big sister/wife given our situation, I’ll just say that. I’m still here, so how bad could it have been?” 

Kara laughs and looks a little more relieved. “That’s true.”

The walk back goes by much quicker, and before Lena knows it they’re back at the house. Everyone immediately goes upstairs to get changed into swimwear. Lena takes Arlo for a moment so Kara can take the baby wrap off.

Arlo is much happier this time around and he smiles at Lena and flails his arms. “Looks like he just needed a good nap.” 

Kara nods and tickles his belly, making Arlo squeal happily. “A good nap can fix anything. I’m going to go change and grab his sun hat. We’ll be right back.” 

Lena nods and watches Kara disappear up the stairs. She grabs her bag, fishing out her black bikini and changes in the bathroom. She throws a loose fitting tank top over her bikini top and secures a sarong around her hips and then walks outside to wait for everyone. 

Alura is the first one down and she looks precious in her yellow one piece swimsuit. She slides the door open and greets Lena on the porch. 

“Are you swimming with us?” Alura asks with a huge grin, clearly excited. 

“I haven’t decided yet. I’ll definitely watch you swim, though.” 

Alura grabs two arm floaties and hands them to Lena. “Will you help me put these on?” 

Lena smiles and takes them and helps Alura slip her arms into the floaties. “You look very stylish,” Lena says, making Alura smile brightly. 

Soon enough, they’re joined by the rest of the group and they all follow the stone path down to the water. Sam and Lena sit in the chairs and watch the kids launch off into the water.

Kara and Alex linger at the water’s edge, both fumbling with babies in floppy sun hats and what appears to be some sort of baby floats. Lena and Sam exchange looks, trying not to laugh at the two very serious women struggling in front of them. 

Kara beats Alex to the water, still holding Arlo, guiding the floatie behind her. Arlo seems startled when the warm water reaches his toes, the water line just above Kara’s swim shorts. Lena tries to keep her eyes on Alura and Ellie as they perform tricks in the water for her and Sam, but it’s seemingly impossible not to watch Kara and Arlo interact in the water. Well, impossible until Sam notices, and then Lena’s pulling her sunglasses down from the top of her head to cover her eyes and embarrassment. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent with everyone going back and forth from swimming in the water to playing on the shore. Alura and Ellie even manage to coax Lena into the water for a bit and she enjoys swimming and playing with the kids, the slight sting she feels on her cheeks worth it. 

* * *

Instead of lighting off fireworks, the kids are given reusable glow sticks to run around the yard with. It’s mostly quiet as everyone sits around a nicely built fire pit. It’s comfortable and cozy, and Lena finds herself fighting off sleep as she snuggles deeper into her warm flannel. 

Sam and Alex are running around the yard with the kids. When she looks across the fire, she meets Kara’s gaze. Kara smiles and grabs onto Arlo’s hand, both of them waving. Blaming it on the warm, sleepy feeling coursing through her veins, Lena decides to get up and plops in the open chair beside Kara. She doesn’t say anything when Lena sits down, but the coquettish grin on Kara’s face tells her that the change of seating is more than welcome. 

It doesn’t take long for the kids to completely tire themselves out and return to their places around the fire. Lena’s surprised when Alura climbs into her lap with a yawn but she recovers quickly and wraps her arms around her. 

“Have fun?” The little girl only manages a nod and Lena pulls her closer. The kids make it another 20 minutes before they’re all put to bed, too exhausted to stay up any longer. 

Lena is tending the fire when Alex returns with a bottle of tequila and a mischievous smile that Lena remembers from many hazy nights in National City that led to god-awful hangovers the next morning.

“Absolutely not,” Lena says, with a point of her finger. It’s not super late but Lena doesn’t want to have to wait any longer to sober up for the long drive back to Metropolis. 

Alex begins to pout but is momentarily distracted when her wife enters the fire pit area with a handful of beers. She hands one to Lena and sits down next to Alex across the fire. By the time Kara joins them, Sam and Alex are more than a few shots in and Lena is still working on her beer. 

Kara stops behind Sam and Alex and looks down at them as they giggle and then she looks up at Lena. “You were supposed to be supervising them, Lena. You know these two can’t be trusted with tequila.” 

Alex scoffs indignantly. “You know no one would be able to tear tequila out of my dead hands.” 

“Well… except for me,” Sam says, her words dripping with clear intent, her lips pressing against Alex’s neck. Lena smirks because it’s a wonderfully executed sexy distraction. Samthen slips the bottle out of Alex’s slackened grip. 

“Hey! That’s not fair,” Alex yells, a slight slur to her words, as her mind catches up to what just happened.

“Sorry, babe. I had a point to prove,” Sam says with a grin and a kiss to Alex’s cheek. 

The rest of the evening is spent catching up, soft music playing in the background. Lena continues to fill in the blanks as she learns more about both families. Kara remains mostly silent, like Lena, not quite ready to fill in the blanks from her own past.

There’s a bit of a lull and Alex pulls Sam to her feet and leads her away from the fire and out into the grass. Kara and Lena watch as they begin to slow dance. Lena looks at Kara to see her reaction, briefly wonders if the intimacy of the act bothers her, but she’s just smiling at the two of them as Alex spins Sam around and pulls her back in for a kiss. 

Lena supposes this would be a good time to go, there’s still a little bit of light left, but she feels sleepy and content and instead pulls her knees to her chest. Kara continues to keep her company by the fire, mostly quiet except for the occasional hum. It’s just enough to pull her under, sleep overtaking her.

When Lena opens her eyes, it’s properly dark and the fire has been recently put out. There’s a warm hand on her shoulder and when she looks over, she sees the hand belongs to Kara.

“Hi,” Kara says with a soft smile. 

Lena hums and sits up in her chair. “What time is it?” 

“Just after 11. Sam and Alex just went in.” 

“Shit,” Lena says as she stands up and attempts to stretch the tiredness out of her muscles. She feels more exhausted than she did before and she tries to remember the last hotel she saw on the driving in this morning.

Kara stands up with her and looks at her uncertainly. “There’s a spare room available upstairs if you want it. I know you didn’t want to stay, but you’re tired and I don’t think driving this late is a good idea. I can also drive you to the next town. It’s a 45 minute drive, but I’d feel better knowing—”

Lena’s eyes are half closed and she almost laughs at Kara and her rambling. She reaches a hand out and pats her arm. “That won’t be necessary, Kara. I’ll take the room.”

Kara lets out an exhale and nods her head. They quietly make their way upstairs and when they get to the hallway, Alura is standing in the hallway outside her door. 

“What are you doing out of bed, missy?” Kara asks sternly. 

“Aunt Sam and Alex hit my door and it scared me.” Lena covers her mouth to hide her smile at the little girl’s obvious innocence. Kara looks at Lena with barely concealed horror and then back to her daughter. 

“I’m sorry about that, sweetie. It’s dark and they probably got confused.” Alura nods as if that’s the most obvious answer, not understanding that her aunts were probably just making out against her door. “Let’s get you back to bed.” 

Lena is still standing in the hallway outside her room when Alura darts over to her and hugs her legs and says a quick good night before Kara ushers her back into her room. 

Lena’s door is still open when Kara knocks on the door frame and pokes her head in. “Do you need anything?” 

“No, I’m good. I think I’m just going to head out first thing.” 

Kara nods her head and is silent for a moment. “If you need anything, I’m on the other side of Alura’s room. 

“Thank you.” Kara nods again and then closes the door behind her. 

It takes a while to fall asleep. She feels on edge and sort of out of place, but her eyelids grow heavy and before long she falls asleep.

Lena is slowly pulled out of her current state of unconsciousness. She’s vaguely aware of a creak and then the sound of metal twisting. She’s tired and can’t think properly and her eyes will  _ not  _ open. She recognizes the sounds, she just can’t place what they belong to. 

It’s not until she hears sniffling that she’s able to open her eyes. It’s still dark outside, but the hallway night light filters in just enough light to pick up on the familiar blonde hair and cute set of polka dot pajamas standing in her open doorway. 

More awake, she sits up on her left elbow when she hears the sniffling again. 

“Alura.” Lena’s voice is still thick with sleep and she’s squinting slightly to get a better look at the little girl, who is now slowly walking closer to her bed. When Alura finally makes it to the side of her bed, Lena can easily make out the tear tracks on her cheeks. 

“What is it, darling?” The term of endearment rolls off her tongue before she can do anything to stop it and she makes it a point to ignore how natural it feels. Alura continues to cry quietly as she grips onto the sheets at the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to get your mama?” Lena asks gently.

Alura hiccups and wipes her eyes. “No. I don’t want to wake her up.” 

“Okay, that’s fine,” Lena says slowly. “Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I had a bad dream,” Alura says brokenly and she starts crying again. Lena feels her heart squeeze in her chest at the girl's distress. 

Lena tries to think of other better solutions, solutions that don’t include letting the little girl crawl into bed with her. But she’s so tired, and she feels powerless with Alura standing at her bed staring at her with big, heartbroken eyes, that she doesn’t even think twice when she pulls back her covers and pats the open spot beside her. “Come on up, darling. You can stay in here with me.”

With Alura settled in the warm spot that Lena was just occupying, Lena pulls the covers over the both of them. They’re sharing Lena’s pillow and facing each other. 

Striking blue eyes open and Alura watches Lena. “I’m scared.” 

“You’re okay. I’ll be here if you need anything,” Lena whispers and Alura grabs onto Lena’s sleep shirt and wiggles a little closer. 

As Lena runs her hand through her hair and rubs her back, Alura’s breathing slowly evens out and Lena knows she’s fallen asleep. 

Lena watches Alura sleep for a few moments, with the door still cracked open it’s letting in just enough light for Lena to make out all of her precious features. She takes in her blonde hair, her long eyelashes, the freckles that are becoming more prominent as she spends more time in the sun. 

“Sweet dreams, love,” Lena says softly and places a kiss on her forehead. Lena relaxes back into the bed, her arm still holding onto Alura protectively and it doesn’t take long for sleep to return to her. 

* * *

Lena isn’t the first up like she planned to be. She isn’t even the second or third. No, by the time she wakes up it’s hours after the time she originally wanted to be ready and out the door. She’s annoyed with herself but when she opens her eyes, she remembers why she stayed and the annoyance instantly fades away. Her little visitor is still fast asleep next to her and she can’t help but smile at the cute pillow lines that have formed on her rosy cheeks.

Lena can hear faint chatter coming from downstairs and for a moment she’s mortified when she sees that the bedroom is pushed open more than it was last night when Alura came in. There’s no way Kara wouldn’t have noticed. Lena’s anxious fidgeting must wake Alura because when she opens her eyes again, Alura is looking up at Lena. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Smells like breakfast is ready down there. Wanna join me?” Alura nods her head and when Lena sits up, Alura attaches herself to Lena’s torso. “Okay, let’s go get some food,” Lena says with a laugh. 

As soon as they’re in view of Kara at the table, Alura wiggles in her arms until Lena gets the hint that she wants to be put down. She then runs to Kara and climbs into her lap for a hug and Lena makes a beeline for the coffee, not quite ready to face Kara. 

She’s slowly sipping her freshly poured cup of coffee at the counter when she feels Kara approach her.

“Morning,” Kara says quietly, bumping Lena’s shoulder with her own.

“Good morning,” Lena says into her mug. Kara’s momentarily quiet and when Lena hears a harsh exhale through her nose, she glances at the blonde. Kara is staring down at the counter, nervously rubbing at an invisible blemish on the countertop with the side of her thumb, something akin to fear in Kara’s eyes. 

“Lena—” Kara starts but her voice is gravelly and it surprises Lena enough that she glances up again. This time Kara is looking at her and she looks stricken, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. And then in what feels like slow motion, Lena feels Kara’s hand slowly slide up and over the top of her own. “Thank you,” Kara finally manages to get out, lightly squeezing Lena’s hand. 

Lena doesn’t need to ask what for. She can read it plain as day in the emotions that are swirling in Kara’s eyes. Kara is offering up the only thanks she can in this moment for being there for her daughter. Equally as affected and unable to respond even if she wanted to, Lena just nods, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a smile. 

Kara laughs at herself quietly and with a final squeeze of her hand, she pulls away. She stays long enough to finish her cup of coffee, only managing to slip out of the house after a quick goodbye to everyone when Alex stumbles into the kitchen with a groan, still half asleep and very hungover.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way longer than I had hoped so my apologies! I've spent the last two days editing and working on everything, trying to get it done ahead of my planned belated birthday getaway that starts tomorrow.
> 
> The next chapter is already written and I'm on vacation right now so I suddenly have way more free time. Stay safe out there!
> 
> And on a final note... next chapter will be more angsty.


End file.
